By Kaia Costa
It has been over a year since Sabrina Carpenter released, arguably, her best album to ever exist: Man’s Best Friend. As a girl who only previously knew the singer from her various roles on Disney Channel, her music never crossed my mind because it’s not my usual taste. However, the lyricism, irony, and storytelling across the entire album make it impossible to miss. I think Sabrina articulates how nearly every teenage girl has felt at some point in their lives throughout their relationships—romantic, platonic, family—anything, really. As a 17 year old girl, this album really speaks to me, but that wouldn’t make any sense if you never gave it a listen. Not only does she articulate every thought I’ve ever had, and throw them into a catchy pop song, this album just screams “autumn” to me, so I thought it was only fitting. Now, without further ado, this is my brutally honest (and extremely difficult, might I add) ranking of all the songs on the album.
12. When Did You Get Hot?
This song is just cheesy to me…I’m sorry if you like it. That’s all I have to say, it is just not very good.
11. Goodbye
I am sincerely sorry to all the Goodbye lovers out there… Some would say it was popular for a reason but I unfortunately disagree. Again, her lyrics always crack me up but this is just not the song for me.
10. House Tour
The track itself really isn’t bad per say, and the beat is pretty fun. However, this just isn’t a song I would necessarily choose to play, and I feel like there really is no point behind it.
9. Manchild
Quite funny. This song cracks me up because she’s making some sort of mockery out of one of her immature ex-boyfriends. This one is just a little overplayed for me!
8. Nobody’s Son
I know for all the Sabrina Carpenter stans out there, this song is ranked extremely low! I’m sorry! It’s my list. This song essentially is just her giving up on love, and I think there are catchier songs on the album.
7. Tears
A very catchy song, and again, she really cracks me up with her sarcasm and lyrics. It’s not necessarily my favorite, but there is nothing wrong with it!
6. Go Go Juice
It truly breaks my heart that this song didn’t make the top 5. I cannot explain how much fun it is to blast this song and sing with your older sister with the windows rolled down in the extremely old car you share. Very niche reference, but this song is so fun! 10/10 getting ready song.
5. My Man On Willpower
Now it’s getting difficult. This song has such a special place in my heart because it was the first one that really piqued my interest when listening to the album. Once again, her lyricism and sarcasm cracks me up every time. This song made it to the top 5 for its iconic bridge. All I can think about is her Coachella performance.
4. Sugar Talking
I would say this song is tied with My Man On Willpower, but they’re so different, it’s impossible to compare the two. This song is incredible, and her vocals on the track give me goosebumps. If you haven’t seen her Coachella performance of this song, you have to. It is truly iconic, to say the least.
3. Never Getting Laid
I know some fans are going to come for me for ranking this song so high but frankly, I don’t care! This song is genuinely hilarious and so relatable. The chorus is perfect and so catchy.
2. Don’t Worry I’ll Make You Worry
I could cry tears. This is a masterpiece of a song, and although it is one I play on repeat year round, it encapsulates fall/winter for me. I genuinely don’t know how else to explain it, but this song truly makes me feel something.
1. We Almost Broke Up Again Last Night
As much as it was difficult to rank all of the others, this song being in first place was never a question. Everything about this song is literally perfect and if you have ever felt this way, thank me in advance for changing your life by introducing you to this song.