Armed with my wired earbuds, a questionable sense of optimism, and the kind of playlist that had already haunted my dreams on Spotify’s “Top Hits,” I set out on a journey of true determination and too much time to spare. I took it upon myself to see how many times I could bear listening to the same songs over and over again, and recorded my data down for all of you. The bearable-scale system I used for this goes the higher the ranking the more (shockingly) bearable the song is, enjoy!
- “Ordinary” by Alex Warren
Starting off strong with “Ordinary” by Alex Warren, maybe I’m biased because I’m not the biggest fan of country music, I true-heartedly believe this was one of the most torturous fifteen minutes of my life. I managed to repeat this song a grand total of five times before I had to turn it off in fear I’d throw my phone across the room if it played in my ear any longer. Safe to say my opinion hasn’t changed, I believe it’s one of the worst songs to exist. All I could say is that I expected it to be this bad, nothing worse and nothing better, so maybe that’s a win. Overall I managed to listen to it five times in a row, I rate it about a 6/10 on the bearable-scale.
- “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone
Now, I understand I might be hated for this opinion, but I have never liked Benson Boone. A lot of my friends enjoy his music, and I genuinely think that they’re lying. I don’t understand how anyone willingly puts his songs onto their playlists, no offense. Maybe this song is just severely overplayed, but this was one of the worst experiences of my life. It’s already irritating when I have to listen to this song in every single store I go into, it’s even worse when I force myself to sit through a solid twenty minutes of it on repeat purely out of boredom. I managed to listen to this song around six times before I tapped out, I give it around a 5/10 because even though I managed to last longer on this song than the last one it was still utter torture to my ears.
- “The Fate of Ophelia” by Taylor Swift
Maybe I’m setting myself up for failure by only listening to the artists I personally dislike, but I never claimed to have fair judgment. I don’t particularly enjoy Taylor Swift’s music at all, and I know many do but it’s just personally insufferable for my ears. I haven’t bothered listening to her whole new album, the last one was bad enough, but I just knew I was gonna be in for a long ride. To be fair, this wasn’t as bad as the other two I’ve listened to so far, it almost seemed good in comparison to Benson and Alex, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t still a horrible experience. I listened to this song on repeat for around thirty straight minutes, which impressed even me. Ten times this song was blasted in my ear while doing my math homework, and honestly the algebra didn’t even seem that bad compared to the excruciating noise playing in my ear. I give it an 8/10 on the bearable-scale, because while I would prefer not having this be the only music playing in my ear for the next ten years, it would be better than the other options we’ve had so far.
- “I’m Good (Blue)” by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha
Now, I have a deep and ongoing hatred for this song and it all started in 2023 when my mom discovered this song. For two years this was her favorite song to listen to. In the car, at home, when cooking, you name it, it was on, so, as you guys can probably infer, it got old quickly. This was, by far, the worst listening experience I’ve had all year. I managed to listen to this song a humble three times before having to turn it off and re-block the artist on spotify. I absolutely despised all two minutes and fifty-five seconds of repeating trash I had to sit through, I would not recommend this to anyone. I think this is the equivalent of waterboarding for me, because I would gladly choose any form of medieval torture over having to listen to this song for another second. I give this song a 1/10 on the bearability scale, and it gets one point only because my mom loves this song and I feel bad. But, even though I love my mom, if she ever plays this around me again I’m throwing out all of our speakers.