By Mia Hanuska
Dear the stalky green bits of the earth,
I have three words for you: yum, yum, yum. How absolutely delectable it is when the buds of my tongue are graced with your flavors. I could not live without your diverse tastes on my delicate palette. There are too many of you to scribe to directly, but I wish to reach out to specifically the holy trinity: broccoli, green beans, and brussel sprouts.
Broccoli: my, my, my. Your tiny tree morsels would make any Who from Whoville jealous that their flora does not taste as scrumptious as you. You pair perfectly with any protein, with any sauce, with any…thing, indeed. Your silkily steamed florets simply melt in my mouth, and when you’re dusted with salt like snow on a bright winter’s day—I cannot be held back. However, I have a mere grievance with your raw form. Kindly, you are absolutely vile when uncooked. Hear ye, I am a fan of many raw vegetables: except for you. Everytime my seeing orbs sense your raw presence on a spread of greenery, I recoil in terror. How dare you associate yourself with my beloved carrots.
Green beans: good golly, I could gobble you up nonstop. I find you religiously at my holiday feasts, and frankly, it wouldn’t be a celebration without you. Friable and boilable, no matter what form you transform yourself into, your texture maintains a perfect mouthfeel. Your taste is the strength of a La Croix drink; was your flavoring simply drifted by you during creation? Nevertheless, your extreme lack of interest makes you perfect to incorporate into dishes. Green beans, I can never go wrong with you. You’re the potato of the vegetable realm.
Brussel sprouts, brussel sprouts, brussel sprouts. I saved the best for last, because you are incredible. Your frangibility? Your excellent piquancy? Yes, and yes. Discovering you was one of the best finds from humanity; above the creation of sliced bread. I have paired you with countless dishes and toppings, and can affirm that you knock it out of the park like Babe Ruth every time. Brussel sprouts, I have an undying adoration for you and your impeccable, scrumdiddlyumptious fragments. You are perfect. Never change.
Foresty regards,
Mia Hanuska