Welcome to The Shield‘s annual satire section. Writers use satire to improve a problem in society. Sometimes readers misunderstand the satire as they do not recognize the hyperbole, irony, rhetorical questions, sarcasm, and understatements. Readers may mistake the satirical solution for the actual solution that the writer proposes. The ideas in these satire stories do not necessarily represent the opinions of The Shield or Westmont. If one is confused about satire, please contact a friendly neighborhood English teacher.
Through countless hours of scrolling on TikTok, spending eons on picking the right Instagram caption, and carefully crafting a response on Snapchat, social media has become increasingly important in our lives. While many argue to cherish each moment and unplug from technology, we should rather focus our time on the sole benefactors of life: our cell phones. Today, we must “live in the moment” by liking our friend’s Instagram post first and snapping back at a reasonable time.
During times of dullness and boredom, like on tropical vacations or at prom, cell phones provide a limitless opportunity for entertainment to live in the moment. From TikTok to Wordle to YouTube to Spotify, our phones have everything we need to live a fulfilling life. Rather than spending quality time with friends or family, we should perpetually scroll on social media to connect and engage with what really matters.
Likewise, phones can also strengthen our relationships with the people we love. Rather than conversing with friends and family, why not pick up your phone and scroll through Instagram at the same time?? To connect with others, we should really look at the genuine relationships, like snap scores or followers, we’ve formed on social media. Talking with our loved ones can severely drain your social battery, so use the battery of your phone instead to minimize everlasting conversations. No need to make a phone pile when you can snap and play Game Pigeon with your friends sitting right next to you!!
Not only do cell phones improve relationships with those around you, but also they can lower levels of stress. If you ever find yourself worrying about a future test or college decisions, try plugging in and going on your phone. Scrolling on social media has limitless possibilities: constant comparison to peers, distraction from completing any work, prevention of sleep, and so much more! What more could you need? We must occupy our time by staring at these pocket-sized screens to destress by comparing our achievements to those of others.
Truly, life is too short, we must look down at our phones once in a while to connect with the online world. Providing an escape to the dull moments in our lives, strengthening the relationships with the people around us, and diminishing stress levels, cell phones allow us to truly live in the moment by preventing us from experiencing the milestones of life.