Easy A

Welcome to The Shield‘s annual satire section.  Writers use satire to improve a problem in society. Sometimes readers misunderstand the satire as they do not recognize the hyperbole, irony, rhetorical questions, sarcasm, and understatements. Readers may mistake the satirical solution for the actual solution that the writer proposes. The ideas in these satire stories do not necessarily represent the opinions of The Shield or Westmont. If one is confused about satire, please contact a friendly neighborhood English teacher.

By Jacqui McLean

Every student wants to get good grades. After all, how can anyone be successful without a perfect report card? However, the immense amount of homework and rigorous studying that is needed to achieve such good grades is quite a hassle. Instead of actually learning material, paying attention in class, turning in assignments, and studying, students should simply cheat. 

The lazy cheaters look up answers on their phones during tests. More advanced deceptors write answers on their hands or post-it notes. If you are feeling really risky, you could even pass notes or communicate with classmates to get answers. Regardless, the ample methods of cheating are easily accessible to all who “work smarter, not harder.” As a matter of fact, with new online resources and AI tutors, all methods of cheating have become much easier. Chat GPT can write essays and answer questions. Photomath can solve math problems step-by-step. The multitude of resources are readily available to students, and after all, teachers are always telling students  “use your resources” and “improve time management.” What better way to use resources than to use educational applications to get an academic step-up. 

Cheating gets an unfair reputation. Constantly, cheating is labeled as immoral and wrong, but if everyone is cheating, you would be stupid not to give yourself an easy advantage. Every student knows that cheating is common and often accepted by their peers, so why would you not cheat? Especially when so few students ever get caught, and those who do often get minimal punishments. Cheating is simply a new norm, so parents, teachers, and students alike should all get on board with the new trend.

Students who do not cheat often get left behind, their teachers oblivious to the reason why. The student putting in the most work rarely gets rewarded the same as the student who cheats. The phrase “winners never cheat and cheaters never win” is utter nonsense. Cheaters ALWAYS win. They get the best grades, more free time, and no stress when it comes to school. No student should accept failure because their “morals” would not allow them to cheat like their peers do. Societal acceptance of cheating would allow everyone the guilt free option of success. 

Clearly, as a society we accept cheating in other aspects of life. Millionaires and superstars cheat on their taxes and get praised for “being smart” and finding “loopholes.” Cheating in sports and gambling are quite prominent. Over 50 percent of the country’s population gets divorced and you want to tell me that a good chunk are not due to cheating…yeah right. If cheating is so common and accepted in other forms, why is it not okay when it comes to academic cheating? 

The academic community needs to loosen up a bit. Cheating is a direct pathway to success. After all, if you are not cheating, you’re not trying.