If It Ain’t White, We Don’t Fight

By Eric Vallen

Non-European wars dont matter and never will! The entirety of mainstream media focuses on white men’s wars, and for good reason! I mean, the atrocity! Civilians being allowed to evacuate? War crimes actually being investigated and tried? Civilians rights being recognized? Such wars are extremely vulgar! An unprovoked insurgency by a white man has never before been seen in this world! The war in Ukraine is truly, truly groundbreaking, and deserving of every single media outlet’s attention. 

In retrospect to such a disgusting, moral-shattering war, other wars simply don’t hold significance anymore. Yemenese genocide at the hands of Saudi Arabia pales in comparison to Russia’s insurgency. What matters if Yemen is a hellscape? The scary Russian man has been making a pathetic attempt to invade a second world country for a week now! We must give our undivided attention to such an influential war! Libya has failed to achieve a general quality of life better than that of medieval times for more than a decade now due to civil war. What matters if the white man caused it? He isn’t there anymore. In fact, Libya must be better now that they’re at their own devices. Perhaps human rights violations are part of their everyday life, and we are wrong to intervene.  Besides, now the white man is fighting himself, so Libya might as well be a fictional country at this point. Afghanistan hasn’t widely recognized human rights for the entirety of the 21st century, but what do we care? White men aren’t involved in it anymore. They executed an amazing pull-out from the country, seamlessly transitioning it back into its natural environment. In all honesty, such wars are very tame.

Genocide, mass displacement, socio-econmic suicide, these are phrases you would hear on the playground! Libya, Yemen, Afghanistan, all these places, all these wars, they might as well be larping events. When you hear about an insurgency that’s only been occurring for a month, but it’s between white men, your boots should be shaking! Such acts, such events, are truly disgusting. The graceful white men can’t be fighting each-other! No chance! They’re the benevolent, peace loving peoples of the world! The Ukraine situation absolutely deserves all of our attention, because it’s about the white man! Those other wars dont matter, they’re harmless, child’s play anyway.