By Emi Gruender
After a very long period of writing and rewriting and agonizing over what I could possibly write about, I decided to write about my very bloody accident in September of my junior year, and what it taught me—morally that is. It taught me to keep my fragile fingers away from heavy machinery in the theatre, but that’s not a very inspiring topic to write about, is it?
UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
Blood, Sweat, and Tears: But Mostly Blood
The blood was everywhere—splattered across my white shoes, the plywood, my friend’s jeans. While I installed flooring in the theatre, a rogue panel had sheared my fingertip clean off. Though I insisted on fixing the problem on my own—calling my mom, staunching the bleeding with hemostatic gauze-my friends insisted upon supporting my bloody burden. With wonder, I realized the depth of their care, that my occasional dependence on others was not a sign of weakness, but leadership: a lesson that I’d learn again a year later, while directing my original play, Being Human.
Writing this coming-of-age comedy was difficult; directing, grueling. In just one month, I would present my work to the public for the first time, with every word in the script and directorial choice credited to my name alone. Initially, I attempted to shoulder every responsibility in a desperate attempt to lessen the “burden” I felt I was placing on my peers. Between poster-procedure blunders and unmasked anxiety in the director’s chair, I felt myself crumbling. But my perspective shifted when the assistant director, my partner in crime, said to me:
“You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”
Once I finally relinquished my fierce independence, I truly learned to lead—making hundreds of decisions every day, and issuing notes to my peers while being firm yet kind. Within one difficult month, outside of directing, I planned costumes, gathered props, and prompted lighting/sound design, and made a conscious effort to support my actors through our struggle. Despite the crushing doubt that I would not embarrass myself as a director/playwright before two sold-out audiences, I continued to feign a leader’s confidence-despite my actual lack thereof.
During Being Human’s final bow, I saw the joy and gratitude in my actors’ eyes-many of whom had never performed before-and realized that the decision to share a burden doesn’t begrudge others. Rather, at the cost of blood, sweat, and tears, I finally learned that leadership is to trust that you don’t have to do everything by yourself, especially when it comes to a severed fingertip.