By Emi Gruender
Push past the beaded curtain and fan away the heavy cloud of incense, dear skeptic. Sit down before my crystal ball and smell the strange earthy smell emanating from the humidifier tucked in the far corner. And when I offer you a stack of tarot cards in one hand, and only my relaxed palm in the other, choose wisely.
And last but certainly not least: close your eyes, relax your palm, and suspend disbelief if only for a second as you entertain the possibility that such truthful things about yourself could be written into the folds of your skin. Does this whole charade sound ridiculous? It did to me, too. I’ve written an article like this before, you know. I decided to experiment with tarot cards and try to glean some insight into my future, and though tarot card interpretations are aimed to be as vague as possible, my reader’s predictions were surprisingly applicable.
While I agree that the cards, the cards, the cards will tell the past, the present, and the future as well, palms may hold an even stronger connection to our mysterious, transient futures. Join me as I swallow my skepticism to trust in a psychic to read my palm and tell my… future?
Alas, my dear reader, it appears that not one psychic reader’s services I was able to request for this reading. But truth be told, I should have expected it—since a psychic that attends fastidiously to their voicemail or email inboxes would not be much of a mystical person. But for goodness sakes: either the readings cost $175 per session, or the phone number on their website is no longer available.
But now, in the dead of morning (2:06 am), I will be damned if I don’t get this palm of mine analyzed. Let’s strap on in to almanac.com and a couple other websites, and DIY this fortune with a little mod podge and a little faith. Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two about palm reading, yourself.
Which palm means what? Your dominant hand’s readings pertain to the present and the future. The non-dominant hand “indicates patterns you received at birth.”
Let’s start with the life line, shall we?
Often hailed as the most recognizable line on the palm, the life line is (in ungraceful terms) the big old fold that traces from the side of your palm, on the thumb’s side, in an arc downwards towards your wrist. Some people say that lifelines indicate longevity, while some insist that longevity has nothing to do with the lifeline, but rather the way we spend our lives. There are so many diagrams on the internet: but I’ll show you the ones that I referenced.
All of these different shapes on one’s palm are supposed to indicate a different reading. For instance, “A long, deep life line suggests robust health, resilience, and a life filled with interesting experiences,” according to Theresa Reed on Almanac.com. In contrast, a “fainter or shorter line” could suggest someone that is more easily fatigued, and needs more rest.
MY LIFE LINE:
- Connect to my head line—they’re the same line before they diverge
- Chained until the head line and lifeline separate
- Indicates challenges during the early years of life
- Forked
- Indicates redirection, or change of life path
- Long, connects outside of hand to my wrist
- Deep
What does this mean?
Though a very complicated and convoluted process (including separating each quadrant of this life line into four 20-year stretches of my life,) I learned that 1. I “faced significant challenges in my youth,” 2. am very robust and likely will have good health, 3. will make a large change to my life after my 40s, and 4. may take a little longer to become independent from my family.
The rabbit hole delves even deeper past the gateway drug that is the lifeline. There are also head lines and heart lines, fate lines and marriage lines.
My head line curves downward and extends all the way through my palm until directly beneath my ring finger. According to various sources, this means that while I am intelligent, I can balance and be socially adept.
My heart line is long and quite deep, riddled with islands and chains, which suggest bad luck. I hope to God that this will change, with time. And I’ve got three faint marriage lines, which suggests three significant relationships in my life (best case scenario), or three marriages. Truth to be told, I would not appreciate being married thrice.
The rabbit hole only spirals deeper. There are mounds to be examined, the natural crests and valleys within your hand, each cosmically labeled: Jupiter, Saturn, Mercury, Venus, and Mars. Finger length, thumb placement, and general hand shape play factors, too. And don’t even get me started on the whole other playing field that is the non-dominant hand.
Though it appears that accurate palm-reading may require a bit more expertise than I’m currently equipped with, I’m satisfied with my slightly-janky DIY reading. Who knows? Perhaps the palms, the palms, the palms DO tell, the past, the present, and the future as well.