As we enter into this year’s college decision-making period, we also enter into another major milestone: finding roommates—no doubt just as important. As someone who has been to a summer camp for ten years, shared a bedroom with my brother, and went to school in another country for one semester, I feel confident in my ability to speak to some of the basic rules of roommate etiquette. Some etiquette will be specific to the individual roommates since some will have issues with their roommates having unmade beds while others will not mind at all but there are some basic things that all of us should be respectful of whether or not your roommate cares.
Maintain your organizational space. Don’t store in shared areas and make sure you maintain your visible area. My roommate on the trip I took abroad had her clothing exposed from her closet onto the floor throughout the entire room to the point where I wasn’t able to reach the other end of the room. She also dominated 90% of the surface area of a four-person desk, yet in sharing the four-person desk with her, we had designated corners there, and my items were misplaced with hers. It is acceptable to be a little disorganized as I was disorganized with my half-dirty clothes on the top bunk bed and my closet did not appear on Pinterest, but I ensured that there was no mess around my desk, closet, and bed, and after I had used an item on the desk, I would put it away quickly—no later than 5 minutes later. Taking over the room through clutter and through messes means there is nothing wrong with being disorganized, but owning the entire room is not acceptable.
Please respect others’ sleeping hours; you don’t need to have the same sleep routine, but you must be considerate towards others. I can sleep whenever possible, but the downside is I also require REM sleep. One instance was in a hotel room with several other women; we were to be on a bus at 4 am and one of my roommates was scrolling through TikTok until far after 11pm with her phone brightness at full capacity. Like, seriously? In some cases choosing your roommate can help avoid this situation, but not always. If you have a different schedule than your roommate, please respect it by keeping lights at a low setting, using headphones, and being as quiet as possible.
Trash from food should be cleaned up immediately. This one really irritates me. I have been blessed to never share a room with anyone like this, but I just can’t deal with food garbage. Are you kidding? You have crumbs in your bed and believe me, I find it disgusting that you have mold on your plate! That’s just nasty! It takes only 2 seconds to get up and dispose of something or rinse off a dish, so just do it!
Be sure to check with your roommate before inviting people over to share their space with you. Most individuals don’t appreciate other individuals being in their room who they don’t know or feel as though there is never a break from having guests in their room. Before you bring over a group of friends, simply send a quick text/message to let them know you are bringing guests into the house. This is just a basic courtesy and shows respect for each other. If they have concerns about the situation, you should respect their feelings.
If you have an issue with something your roommate does, tell them about it before you become annoyed. Most of the time issues don’t start out as very big problems and get bigger just because people never communicate. Just talk to your roommate like the person you are and if something is bothering you, there’s no need to say anything major—just communicate. It makes life easier.
You do not have to be perfect; what you do need to do is ensure that your roommate doesn’t feel like he/she is living in your room instead of having a room of his or her own which is ultimately what it comes down to.