By Mia Hanuska
I hate Zootopia. Yes, that Zootopia. The PG Disney movie released in 2016. I hate it. You could not pay me to watch the movie again. Is hate a strong word? Yes, but it perfectly describes my emotions toward the film—well, actually, I suppose “hate” isn’t necessarily correct. More like…fear. Let’s try again.
I fear Zootopia. Yes, that Zootopia. Released in 2016, the Disney movie, rated PG, and meant for kids. I fear it. I would rather have an allergic reaction than watch the movie again. Ever since I experienced the film in theaters at the ripe age of eight years old, I’ve had an irrational fear of the dark stemming from the events in Zootopia (and Muppets: Most Wanted, but that’s for another time). Unfamiliar with the movie? Let me—a professional hater who hasn’t seen the movie in 9 years—introduce you with this incredibly accurate description.
Judy Hopps, a rabbit police officer, hops around the city dishing out tickets for incorrectly parked cars, public disobedience (such as selling things on public land), and overall misbehavior. I’m pretty sure she had something with not being able to get into the police academy because she’s so small and petite? I’m not really sure. I also think her parents are pretty disappointed in her decision to become a cop, but I don’t recall that playing a large role in the story. Anyways, she meets Nick Wilde, a fox who specializes in breaking laws, while he’s illegally reselling Pawpsicles. Somehow she gets roped into always talking to him—probably through the whole “opposites attract” and “she can fix him!” tropes. They go talk to this huge polar bear (or a really tiny opossum-like creature?) to whom Nick owes money, and end up in a car chase with the polar bear’s polar bear guards…I think?
Something else happens, and Judy and Nick uncover that Zootopia’s animal citizens are facing a peculiar situation: certain animals are going feral. Rabid, if you will. Eventually, the couple connects that the animals oddly go crazy overnight, often from the safety of their own home.
Warning: scary parts ahead
This is the part that always frightened me. Turns out, the animals were being shot in the neck with bullets made out of Night-Howler flowers, which act as an extreme opioid, from their open windows. Judy and Nick figure this out by finding one of the labs where the flowers were being grown, and Judy, who I guess grew up on a farm, recognized the plant and its effects. Then, a little later, they run into the animal that was planning all the shootings: the sheep and assistant mayor, Dawn Bellwether. Just look at her—she screams “I’m hiding something.”
Turns out, Dawn Bellwether was getting revenge on all the predator animals for preying on other animals by making them go crazy and gaining power. Pretty sure Judy and Nick lock her and her henchmen up by the end of the film.
Now, to some this may not seem very scary, but think of it this way: you are a predator. You (likely) eat meat or at least consume other animal products. What’s stopping the prey animals from getting to you at night? You can’t see them, and if you keep your windows open, not only are you making it easier to target you, but you’re pretty much giving them direct access to your neck to make you go crazy!
Hence my fear of the movie. I eat meat. I have a window above my bed where prey animals could aim at me from. When I sleep, my neck is completely uncovered and vulnerable. I am their perfect victim. However, genius eight-year-old Mia decided I would best the prey animals! I began always keeping my window closed (they’d have to shoot through the glass to gain access to me, and then I’d hear it) and sleeping with something covering my neck and the rest of my body completely under the covers (no skin uncovered = no way for the bullets to activate on my skin). I successfully prevented myself from becoming one of their victims.
Still though, I refuse to rewatch the movie. Nor will Zootopia 2 see me in the theater whenever it ends up releasing. Zootopia is easily one of the scariest children’s movies, and no one can convince me otherwise. Whether the right word is “hate” or “fear,” either way, Zootopia can consider me its biggest opp.