*Disclaimer: this article does not intend to slander any mentioned persons, but simply give lighthearted judgement to outfits (so don’t sue me please🙏 )*
*These are in no particular order*
Due to the absolute mess we unfortunately have as our government, I have decided to rate the outfits of some politicians—some still actively in our government, some not—in an attempt to make myself feel better about the current state of the world.
Melania Trump 9/10
Super cute outfit! It’s simple, but elegant. Coincidentally, she looks like she’s attending a funeral—fitting, as Trump’s presidency remains a mournful moment for us all (I know you just wanted to live that rich life, Melania, I get it girl). I wish she would have added some jewelry—specifically diamond or gold earrings—which is why I took one point off. Overall, the outfit eats! (I also greatly appreciate the fact that her hat prevents Trump from kissing her—ingenious!)
Donald Trump ew/10
Donny what is this? Where’s your tie? After his tantrum concern about Zelensky not wearing a suit to the meeting in the oval office, I assumed that Trump simply upheld an extremely strict clothing standard. Based on this outfit though, I don’t think that’s right. I mean, at least Zelensky has a cohesive color scheme. Trump looks like he took the first suit he saw (excluding the tie, of course) and then slapped on a red MAGA hat at the last moment—perhaps in an attempt to seem like he actually cares about his supporters? I’m really not sure. Either way, I hold no love for this lazy, unprofessional outfit, which doesn’t respect the dignity of his position as president.
J.D. Vance 3/10 (second outfit is 10/10 though)
Well…at least the color is cohesive? It’s definitely better than our illustrious orange’s outfit—the lack of the disturbingly bright red hat certainly helps. Like our lovely little leader, Vance also seems to be allergic to wearing ties—though at least he wears a little bow (a clip-on, I’m guessing). Overall, the color matches and he at least has a cutesy bow, so I’ll give this outfit a 3/10. His second outfit, on the other hand, I absolutely love. I mourn the death of his previous style—it seems like his consumption of red pill content degraded more than just his basic human sympathy; it degraded his sense of style as well.
Kamala Harris 8.5/10
While the color certainly isn’t my favorite, she wears it well. Plus, the outfit is professional, elegant, and simple—in other words, it’s perfect for a politician. I also appreciate the brown buttons along her coat. They add an extra layer of detail to the outfit, I love it. I did take a point and a half off due to the simplicity and color of the outfit; although I love simple outfits, in this case, I think a bit of jewelry would have elevated the outfit. Overall, a cute, simple outfit.
Tim Waltz 9/10
HE’S WEARING A TIE!!!!!!! It’s a traditional, elegant outfit—a suit with a tie. Emphasis on the tie. I’m relieved that not every male politician forgot what a tie is (yes I am looking at you Trump and Vance). The color scheme of his outfit also works very well—he represents the Democratic party, and therefore wears blue (unlike Trump who, funnily enough, wore mostly blue with a smidge of red despite his status as a representative of the Republican party). Overall, a nice, traditional outfit, so I give it a 9/10 (I took a point off since the outfit is a little boring).
Gavin Newsom 10/10
While this outfit is certainly not Newsom’s best outfit, I chose it because I find the situation surrounding the outfit absolutely hilarious. Not only did Trump fail to surprise Newsom by coming to California unannounced, but was also absolutely mogged by Newsom. According to google, both Trump and Newsom stand at 6 foot 3 inches; however, after taking a glance at this picture, it becomes obvious that one of them lied about their height, and I don’t think it was Newsom. So not only did Newsom absolutely mog Trump, he also exposed his height (or, well, shortness) at the same time. Also, looking at Newsom’s outfit, we can see just how much he cares about Trump—that is to say, not at all. Typically, in the presence of a president, you are expected to wear formal attire out of respect. Newsom, in wearing a casual outfit, demonstrated his lack of respect for Trump, and I can’t help but love that. What an icon! Also, his outfit, while casual, suits him very well. The jeans and shirt also match each other’s vibe perfectly. Therefore, I give the outfit a 10/10!
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. 8/10
I hate to say it, but Kennedy’s brain worm actually kind of ate with this outfit. The suit and undershirt are simple but elegant, and his tie (and thank god he’s actually wearing one) adds the bit of oomph this outfit needs. Also, the suit matches the tie very well. So, while I dislike the guy, his brain worm did in fact give him a fairly nice sense of style. I did take off two points because the bag kind of clashes with the outfit, and also because I don’t like his fake tan—and on that note, I am hoping and praying that he’s the only one who took inspiration from Trump; I would hate to see an orange-filled government.
Elon Musk NO/10
He’s not officially a part of the government, but due to his tendency to accompany Trump, I suspect that he has replaced Melania as the First Lady (Gentleman? Cybertruck?) of the United States (you can read more about my theory here). Also, why in the world would Elon ever, EVER, think that combining a suit with an atrocious T-shirt would be a good idea. Now, I know the MAGA cult as a whole isn’t exactly known for their intelligence, but come on! I feel like it should be common knowledge that a suit is worn with a simple undershirt—typically white, but other colors as well depending on the suit. Also, and I don’t mean to body shame, but how on Earth did he acquire that build—I’m genuinely curious. He looks like a Cyber Truck flipped on its side (perhaps the Cyber Truck was inspired by what he sees in the mirror every day?). Either way, the combination of the hat, ugly T-shirt, and suit, makes me cringe (and makes me wonder why Trump never questioned his outfit, but questioned Zelensky’s?). His outfit is so bad, I’m not even going to give it a numerical rating.