In the return of Quinta Brunson’s Abbott Elementary, our beloved teachers were faced with a frilly new golf course down the street. Unfortunately, its construction threatened to price out the local deli, replacing it with a smoothie shop. The advent of the establishment reveals another facet of Gregory Eddie’s unpredictable personality—his love for (questionable) smoothies. As an avid smoothie lover myself, I thought I’d (hypothetically) choose a Jamba Juice order for some of the characters in one of my favorite shows!
Ava Coleman – Coffee Dream Machine
Ava’s personality is like a shot of espresso—electric. The principal always keeps us and her fellow educators on our toes, like when she revealed her relationship with NBA champion Andre Iguodala. Unlike a bitter espresso, Ava’s playfulness, delivered through hilarious one-liners, is symbolized by a splash of vanilla in the blended drink.
Janine Teagues – Caribbean Passion
With “notes of strawberry, peach, and orange”, the Caribbean Passion smoothie fits Janine’s fiery but compassionate personality. While strawberries and oranges are more acidic fruits, the more subtle sweetness of the peaches balances out the sour flavors. This satisfying balance of tastes exemplifies her optimism and perseverance toward finding unexpected solutions, which some may deem annoying but others find endearing.
Barbara Howard – Strawberries Wild
Like Mrs. Howard, this smoothie is a classic. As a “fan fave,” Strawberries Wild is a steadfast smoothie that can satisfy new and old customers alike. Similarly, whether a veteran teacher or a rookie, all respect Barbara for her experience in the Philadelphia school system. Moreover, the blend of bananas and strawberries doesn’t have a citrusy punch like other smoothies. Barbara often sticks to her methods, rarely straying from the norm.
Gregory Eddie – PB & Banana Protein
In “The Deli,” Gregory explicitly states his smoothie order is “a 16-ounce Banana-Nut Shred with extra bee pollen,” and this was the closest thing to that. The kindergarten teacher is a very picky eater, so I will simply give him exactly what he asked for.
Jacob Hill – White Gummi
A mix of fruits, the combination of mangos, pineapple, raspberry, orange, and lime sherbert is surprisingly good. Whenever I order this smoothie, people are often surprised by how delicious it is. Similarly, Jacob’s awkward outer persona hides a supportive and compassionate personality when he opens up.