By Emi Gruender
“Yeah, I could totally write a book.” -Me, September 2024.
Flash forward to January 2025: 120k words, 4½ months, and countless tears later.
And…I’m still not done with my first draft.
Writing a book is a dream of many: being able to hold a real-life thickly bound book that holds nothing but the words that you have written. I simply relish the mere thought of it. Like Jo, from Little Women—we witness her transition from being an amateur yet promising writer to a real, published author. She stands at the whirring printing press, holding a brand-new book in her hands, shocked at the possibility that others might read it, too.
It has been a dream of mine ever since I was able to hold a pen. It’s been on the back of my mind even as I stapled together yellowing pieces of binder paper and helped my friends write an insanely indulgent Miraculous Ladybug self-insert fanfiction in the third grade. And finally, more than eight years later, I’m finally committing to one Work-In-Progress—out of over 25 abandoned WIPS in the back of my Google Drive— until I’ve crossed that finish line. Tip Number #1: There’s never a “best time” to start. Because I guarantee you, if you wait and hold yourself back until that day has come, you’ll stare at the blank Google Document on your screen and realize that you have absolutely no idea what to do. The best day to start was yesterday;, and the second-best is today.
However, it appears as if I have severely underestimated the sheer length of such an undertaking. From 12k words in September, to 35k in October, to 75k in November, to 120k in January; It appears I did not know just how long my outline would unfold in actual chapters. On top of that, I have made consistently unwise decisions concerning my schedule. Along with my passion project of “writing a book,” I have also been busier than I have ever been before— between work and theatre and AP Classes and scholarship submissions. Tip Number #2: Make it a little easier on yourself to carve out unnegotiable writing time during the day. It’s not fun to go through 10-hour technical rehearsals for two different productions, then come home to do AP Calculus Homework, then eke in 500 words before the clock strikes 12.
Over these months, I have dedicated an entire digital photo album filled to the brim with “vlogs” outlining the good, bad, and ugly over the last 4½ months. Most of them are 3-4 minutes long: filled with nothing but complaining on the verge of tears, because I can’t believe the quality of work I’ve allowed myself to create. In my endeavor to “just keep writing” no matter what, I’ve allowed myself to make the silliest mistakes in the manuscript, or simply let go and inject entire paragraphs of informal slang into the story. Tip #3: Do not take yourself too seriously. Your first draft will not be perfect, and I can guarantee you this. It will not be publishable, and most likely it will not be good. This concept has been one that I have cried over countless times because I believed—and admittedly I sometimes still believe—that this means my story will never be publishable. I was stupid to think I knew what I was doing, even for a silly little fantasy book that is much too long.
But I’ll let you in on something—no one knows what they’re doing, at least on the first try. Not beginner writers, nor professional writers. Even with 30k-word outlines, there’s bound to appear boring parts, lame parts, nonsensical plot-breaking parts: but the key is to just write despite that. The key to good writing, as famous authors like Neil Gaiman claim, is to just write the first draft without looking back: and then afterwards, edit to make it look like you knew what you were doing all along.
That being said, as my WIP grows older and older each day, my usage of slang and informal writing (easily fixable) grows in tandem. Even though it might give whiplash to an unauthorized reader, it might make you chuckle when you look over your work. And hey—at the end of the day—no matter what publisher wants it, which of your friends want to read it: the work is for you, and you only. Tell the story for your own sake, not anybody else’s.
Well, then. Enough with the rousing advice. If you’ve made it this far, thank you! For your personal entertainment, I’ve listed some of my favorites flubs and “I-don’t-care” moments dug from the bowels of my WIP.
NOTE: Most of the names are based on actual, real-life people. Until I can decide on an actual name. (i.e. “Kia” and “Gandhi.”)
- Movie Reference in a Fantasy Book
“Yeah, no, I think it’s a good idea to touch a random thing glowing in a cave full of death. Did anyone tell you that you’re a genius?”
Kia hissed through her teeth, exasperated. “It’s right there!”
“You really need to watch Indiana Jones.”
- Inspiring
“I believe in you or something along those lines,” Gandhi’s voice crept through his mind. Akram narrowed his eyes or like something. He would prove Gandhi right.
- True Friendship
“What are you doing?” a small voice asked, not quite accusingly. Kia looked up and her eyes met the round, shining black eyes of a selkie child, stooped over at the waist.
Kia wrenched her wrist away. Stuck between the words, “that b*tch” or “my enemy,” she wordlessly gestured at the disappearing boat in the distance.
- Forgetting the word “Tusk”
By no means could she let the hog turn around. Its face horns could spear her within seconds.
- Pirates that know what “Testosterone” is
Sorin felt as if he was choking on the sheer amount of testosterone filling the room and downed the last of the rum in his glass, smashing the empty bottle onto the floor.
- Thumb Men From Spy Kids (Fingers with Faces?!)
Though every finger had no face, they moved with emotion and purpose— an inexplicable weight they carried upon their shoulders.
- Never Seen Children
“Yeah,” Sorin’s voice quivered. “And it’s funny, because, you know, I’ve never seen a baby in real life before—”
- Swounds
Maurice’s mouth moved to form swounds that his eyes didn’t reflect.
“Yes, captain.”
These are only eight of the <200 comments on my Google Document. And these were only the few I was able to find. I’m sure, buried deep in the bowels of that 356-page document, there are crazier things written. But despite the fact that I hate some of my work with a passion, I’ve done too much to give up now. Though I almost always feel like giving up, I instead take a nap, or watch an inspirational YouTube video, or stare at a quote on Pinterest until I go cross-eyed, or experience catharsis in the living room with a roll of toilet paper and Dead Poets Society. And until I’ve finished my first draft—and then the second, and then the third—I’ll continue to keep chugging away until I’ve finally done it. Stay tuned: it’s coming soon.