By Emi Gruender
With the rise of Generation Alpha, new slang words have emerged with them. Terms that bring shudders to teachers and older siblings alike— words like “skibidi” or “fanum tax.” Older members of Generation Z look upon this new development with outright disdain, lamenting about the future of these children whose brains have been melted by hours upon hours of unrestricted YouTube access. But do we remember the vernacular of our own childhood?
I’d like to bring you back to 2016. I was in third grade at the time, and about eight years old. Instead of TikTok dances flooding the internet, memes like “Yeet” and “Dabbing” were popularized. Our poor parents and older siblings had to deal with our incessant repetitions of “Boiiiiii” and “Flossing.” Did they not think our cognitive function was impacted by our 15 allotted minutes of Minecraft per day. Did they worry that our constant singing of “Pen Pineapple Apple Pen” somehow predicted the intellectual future of our generation?
Of course they did. But this is a cycle— a constant trend that has not ceased since the creation of the internet. And despite Zoomers’ embarrassing roots in popular culture, our intelligence has not been negatively impacted. Quite the opposite, in fact. According to The Annie E. Casey Foundation, a research center, proficiency in math of Generation Z increased a whole ten percent as compared to the preceding generation– from 25% of students to 34%. Clearly, kids are getting smarter, despite the worrying vocabulary.
We must trust the cycle. Though it’s worrying to witness today’s children traipsing around Sephora, (Sephora Daughter or Skibidi Son) these kids will always find a way to fabricate their own “memes.” Especially in an age where childhood is getting harder and harder to experience, due to the exposure of older content to kids that are not mature enough to handle them yet.
But don’t you worry. Once Generation Beta rolls around, (god help us) Generation Alpha will lament over the new generation’s slang, and the cycle shall start anew.