By Gavin Bowyer and Wyatt Spears
Many great inventions have come and gone since humans first industrialized, but none truly have impacted our lives more than Red 40 has. It is too often demonized by big regulation and big government without being given a chance to show why it is truly a superfood. Red 40 is shunned for its supposed tendency to make children hyperactive, and depressed, and give them breakouts of hives.
Over the past several months we have tried every food containing the glorious dye. During our “Red 40-Maxxing” and our health has never been better, as we find the best Red 40 delivery devices for you to enjoy. Here are our top five favorite foods containing the amazing dye Red 40
5. Pillsbury Funfetti Radiant Red Vanilla Frosting
This pick has an excellent concentration of Red 40 in it but its benefits end right about there. It is too sweet and has a grainy texture that makes it hard to consume large amounts of it. As well as containing sprinkles that don’t even contain Red 40. The combination of these factors places the frosting at the bottom of our list, but do not let this deter you from trying it, it is still an excellent source of red dye in a pinch.
4. Cherry Jell-o
The beauty of this food is its simplicity. It contains mainly three ingredients: Sugar, Gelatin, and that sweet sweet Red Dye Number 40. Being so few ingredients the Red 40 really shines through on this making a central part of the dining experience. The sheer amount of red 40 does not shine through its gelatinous texture, contrary to items higher on the list.
3. Twizzlers
There is nothing natural about eating a Twizzler. God was completely abandoned in the creation of these candies, and it’s amazing. As I chew on the almost plastic texture of the twizzlers one can imagine they are a rat chewing on wires, one wrong move away from getting fried with 10,000 volts of electricity. The Red 40 only elevates the experience and creates a great candy.
2. Mountain Dew Code Red
Mountain Dew code Red is a bubbly drink of pure red dye concentration. The only difference between Mountain Dew Code Red and pure Red 40 is the fizzy seltzer within the liver destroyer.
1. Takis
Takis the goat hands-down. They are really yummy and make Wyatt happy. “I wuv Takis becwuz day awe wiwwie nummy.” (Wyatt Spears). They are just amazing. Whether they be Fuego, Blue, or the Trader Joe’s brand, the perfect mix of spice and lime makes these snacks absolutely exquisite. I love the way they stain my hands red get dye on everything I touch. These morsels of joy are the epitome of Red-40 dye snacks, with absolutely nothing to dislike about them.
Dishonorable Mention:
Red bricks are too crunchy and they fall apart when you bite them. They should be harder to ensure maximum tooth breakage.
Honorable mention:
Pure Red 40 dye is delicious. The way red coats your inner organs and starts to bite away at your kidneys. It is a true shame that Big Health is trying to separate us from this pure delicious masterpiece.