Ranking Goldfish Best to Worst

By Valerie Garcia-Vallejo and Hailey Kearns

The snack that smiles back! Goldfish, one of the most popular cracker snacks, is one of our favorite snacks. As goldfish enthusiasts, we have tried a lot of different flavors and have narrowed down our top choices and least favorites. 

Best flavors of goldfish:

  1. Cheddar 

The classic cheddar by far is the best flavor of Goldfish. You can never go wrong with cheddar. We are always smiling while eating our beloved cheddar Goldfish!

  1. Baby cheddar 

The next best thing after cheddar: baby cheddar. Although tiny, the flavor of baby cheddar is mighty. The small yet cute size of baby cheddar makes it the perfect small snack to have on the go when you are still craving Goldfish.

  1. Rainbow

Colorful, playful, and tasty–rainbow Goldfish truly has it all. No matter the color, all the fish taste great!

  1. Pretzel

Although some people may disagree, pretzels deserve the well respected number four spot. Some people hate pretzels, some love them, so pretzels deserve the middle spot. 

  1. Princess

Magical. Coquette. She is that Goldfish. 

  1. Giant Grahams

Giant grahams are by far one of the most underrated Goldfish. They are the perfect amount of sweetness and size. We hope that more people will love them in the future.  

  1. Cupcake

Although controversial, cupcake Goldfish are not as bad as everyone makes them out to be. Having just the right amount of them will make you smile! What’s not to love about a sweet treat? Just be careful to not eat too many or else you may end up sick. 

Worst (in no particular order)

  1. Flavored Blasted Xtra Cheesy Pizza

Terrible. Rotten. Disgusting. Do not ever try these. 

  1. Pizza

Not as bad as the previous one but who thought pizza Goldfish was a good idea? If you were really craving pizza then order a slice of pizza, not pizza Goldfish. 

  1. S’mores

Contrary to cupcake Goldfish, any amount of these s’mores fish will make you sick immediately. They are too sweet and make you feel uneasy. 

  1. Original 

We have never heard of someone who willingly chooses to eat original Goldfish. They are VERY bland. In fact, they are so plain, that you are better off eating saltine crackers. 

  1. Whole Grain

Whole grain Goldfish are simply a menace to the Goldfish family. They taste awful. 

  1. Flavor Blasted Sour Cream & Onion

Sour cream and onion flavoring tends to be a hit or miss. Some people love it, others hate it. Really, there is no inbetween. We hate it. 

  1. Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar

Despite many people raving about xtra blasted cheddar, we deeply despise it. Too much cheese tastes gross. 

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