By Emi Gruender
The first installment of many to come, I proudly introduce the newly minted series “Dad’s Daily DVD” as a permanent (or as long as my Dad’s movie collection holds out) addition to the Shield’s Entertainment section. First classic on the list is the rom-com, “How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days,” whose Google synopsis tells us that the plot revolves around a woman trying to get a man to leave her in ten days, and a man trying to make a woman fall in love with him in ten days. A perfect concept for awkward and hilarious situations, here’s my review of this romantic classic.
★★★★★★★★★☆ – 9/10, How to Get a Girl Addicted To Rom-Coms
We are starting off strong here. They call this one a classic for a reason. Usually, romantic comedies feature a lot more romance than comedy, but I could not stop myself from cringing and shoving my face into a stack of pillows every time Andie, the ambitious magazine editor, did something weird and crazy as a futile attempt to shake Ben. On the other hand, it was extremely entertaining to watch Ben, the ambitious diamond marketer, bend over backwards to get Andie to fall for him. It was funny and very wholesome, slightly more inappropriate than the PG-13 content that I am used to seeing, but honestly? The honest humor made it that much better. If you’re in the mood for a good laugh, this is a good movie to watch with friends or family.
*SPOILERS BELOW!*
I was not surprised to learn that this movie was based off of a book. The storyline was dynamic, new and exciting, and kept me on the edge of my seat every time, excited to see what Andie has cooked up for Ben next. From making a delusional “Our Future Family” scrapbook with copy + pasted photos of their faces onto stock images, to going to $300 couples therapy a week into relationships, there was no shortage of wacky situations that Andie and Ben got themselves into. Without further ado, I present to you my full list on Getting the Girl and Losing the Guy.
HOW TO LOSE THE GUY
- Ask him to get you a soda in the middle of a game. Complain that it’s not diet
- Make him miss the best part of the game!
- Call him in the middle of a work meeting
- Be extremely clingy
- Take him to a chick-flick marathon
- Imply that he’s thinking about another girl when he doesn’t respond fast enough
- Talk in the middle of a movie theater
- Be extremely touchy with him in the movie theater and then at his work
- Get him punched in the face
- Call him your boyfriend too soon
- Bring all this stuff with you when he invites you over:
- magazines , stuffed animals, pretty pink comforter, and toilet covers
- Pretend you’re vegetarian. Gag at the food he spends hours making for you
- Take him away from his favorite basketball game
- Cry all the time and be self deprecating
- Act crazy and call his private parts “Princess Sophia”
- Show up at his work looking crazy
- Call him cute nicknames such as
- “Benny-wenny.”
- “Hunny”
- “benky-wenky”
- Get him a vicious, very ugly dog that pees all over the place
- Send him an incredible amount of voice messages
- Composite faces together in photoshop to see what kids would look like—our family albums
- Make it extremely creepy
- Talk to his mom without him knowing. Say “love you” to his mom
- Call his mom to find out information about him as a child
- Put vagisil in his bathroom
- Move into his house without him knowing
- Make him believe you got tickets to a basketball game instead of a Celine Dion concert
- Interrupt his boy’s night
- Steal a key from his superintendent
- Feed his friends cucumber sandwiches that taste really, really bad instead of their pizza
- Force them to stop smoking cigars
- Force him to blow his nose into your napkin because he apparently is congested
- Complain when the love fern dies!
- Act like a crazy person (“are you saying i’m some sort of “mental person!”)
- Insinuate a problem with his genitalia
- Take him to a therapist that
- insinuates that he’s gay
- condescends
- Insinuate that he’s hitting on the shrink
- Force him to take you to Staten Island to meet his family
HOW TO GET THE GIRL
- Flirt with her
- Get her sodas at the worst possible time
- Tell her she’s beautiful when she’s being annoying
- Get punched for her
- Be opportunistic and accept her comfort
- Invite her over and cook a gourmet dinner for her
- Take her to a vegetarian restaurant when she gags at your homemade food
- Put up with her crazy antics
- Go to a Celine Dion concert with her, despite being told you were going to a basketball game instead
- Suggest couples therapy
- Run down the fire escape for her
- Call her a “sugar puss”
- Put up with her shenanigans at couples therapy
- Bring her to Staten Island to meet your family
- Teach her to ride a motorcycle
- Buy her ice cream
- Buy her Knicks tickets for the 13th day. Even after the allotted 10 days is over and therefore the bet that you can make a woman fall in love with you is off, make commitments to see her even after. Make sure not to fall in love with her for real.