By Emi Gruender
“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’99.
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.”
Bahz Luhrmann’s silky smooth voice rumbled through the radio in the family car. In my room. In my headphones, in my brain. For the last 16 years of my life, every feeling of panic and worthlessness and doubt ended in the familiar R&B beat of “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen” backing up these words. In the seemingly endless search for motivation to keep putting one foot in front of the other, I’ve found that the crappy landscape photos overlaid with white words from some dead guy don’t do the trick. Instead, I turn to a song made out of a valedictorian’s speech that soothes without fail. Though I find it hard to actually follow the advice listed in the song, a good reminder never hurts anybody. The following are some of the lyrics which are my favorite– at least, right now.
“Do one thing every day that scares you”
I based my entire 8th grade graduation speech on this one line buried in the bottom of the second stanza. What is worth having if it doesn’t cost something? A lot of the time, this doesn’t come down to material wealth– instead, it comes from what (albeit terrifying) paths you choose to take. Let’s look at some dramatic examples. Rosa Parks’ decision to stand up (or rather, sit down) for herself on the bus was undeniably terrifying at the moment– but somehow contributed to the massive anti-segregation movement. Who knows? One scary decision that you know is right may just change the course of your life forever.
“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours”
An arguably more obvious piece of advice, I have found that these words prove themself in my life time and time again. Whether it applies to friendships or romantic relationships, I keep these words tucked away in my pocket as a reminder. Even though I break my self-imposed philosophy sometimes, I aim to improve myself by protecting both my heart and the heart of those around me.
“Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind
The race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself”
In today’s day and age, it’s nearly impossible not to compare yourself with others. This 12 year old is a prodigy in Math! Greta Thunberg started her activist career at 16, meanwhile you, at the same age, are typing away at an inconsequential article. Why can’t I understand math as well as my peers? Why can’t I get onto the basketball team for once? Being a victim of the ever-more-common FOMO syndrome, I constantly have to remind myself of this– the race of life is not against other people, it’s against yourself.
“Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly”
Being written in 1999, I think this is a little outdated, but finding the parallel between hyper-curated Instagram models of today and hyper-curated models of 2000’s Vogue magazines isn’t difficult. Self-explanatory?
I would have to write a full-length essay to analyze and explain every beautiful aspect of this speech, but to cut reading time short, I recommend a listen as you scroll through the shield. Happy listening!
“Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen” by Baz Luhrmann (original by Mary Schmich)
FULL LYRICS:
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’99
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they’ve faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine
Don’t worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying
Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum
The real troubles in your life
Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing every day that scares you
Saying, don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts
Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind
The race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life
The most interesting people I know
Didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees
You’ll miss them when they’re gone
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t
Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t
Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the ‘Funky Chicken’
On your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
Read the directions even if you don’t follow them
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings, they’re your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get
The more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard
Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old
And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young
Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
And children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Don’t expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out
Don’t mess too much with your hair
Or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
And recycling it for more than it’s worth
But trust me on the sunscreen