By Anna Genna
I am a hater. Is hate a strong word? Yes. Is it applicable? Also yes. If you ask any of my friends, or anyone who knows me beyond a face and name, they can confirm this. Expressing my hate is entertaining to me, and often not in total sincerity. However, as my The Shield bio can confirm, my mortal enemy is buckwheat tea. I hate this tea more than almost anything in this world, and considering the fact that it is bad-flavored water, I live a lucky life.
My hatred for this tea has been from the start. I was with the one and only Celena Ichikawa Pirkl, notable athlete of last issue, when she offered me some of the tea she had. I am a big fan of tea, so how bad could it be? I don’t mind most buckwheat products, like soba, so would I hate it that much? The answer: absolutely with all of my soul. My poor unsuspecting tastebuds were suddenly thrown into a world of pain and disgust. Even worse than drinking plain hot water. Looking at you, Faith Gonia.
I am also a hater of coffee, which might be a good thing, because I, while caffeinated, am a menace. And buckwheat tea tastes like coffee. It draws you in with its tea name, only for you to discover the name is a red herring, and you will instead feel the pain of drinking coffee. I have never had a food item stab me in the back until that day.
I definitely play up this hatred to mess with my friends, but I do truly think buckwheat tea is a criminal offense. Celena, if you are reading this, I forgive you for giving me this buckwheat tea, it was an accident. And Faith, you probably are reading this, know that even in an article about buckwheat tea, I will find a way to diss you and your plain hot water, especially because it is plain hot water season for you.
If anyone is now compelled to try buckwheat tea, have at it. Perhaps you enjoy pain and suffering in the form of adequately flavored water, then this is the drink for you. But let this article be a warning that it is anything but a fun and nice experience.