By Mia Hanuska
Monopoly…sucks. There, I said it. I know, I know, this is super controversial, but Monopoly does not deserve the hype it has. After rating this game a 0.5/10 in my Breaking Families a Game at a Time article last issue, I received countless complaints about the low ranking and “harsh” description of Monopoly. Obviously, this showed me I need to defeat the Monopoly apologists once and for all.
First, a little background. Monopoly started as the Landlord’s Game created by Elizabeth Magie, or Lizzie (The Guardian). The game originally began with two sets of rules: monopolist and anti-monopolist. Unknown to most, the anti-monopolist rules rewarded all players when wealth was created; however, it is the monopolist set that took the world by storm. Aiming to gain as much wealth as possible and destroy opponents, the more popular rules allow for heavy competition and actually encourages arguments.
Alright, now some reasons. To begin, Monopoly is terrible because it’s marketed as a game of skill, when it clearly is not. Where you land depends on a random roll of dice, and no amount of skill can make up for a bad roll. Additionally, it’s shown as a trading game, but trades are almost never a good idea (fatherly). It’s seen as a fun, family game, but it wasn’t made for that. It was created to show the random luck that allows one person to succeed more than others.
To add, it takes forever to play. Unlike sophomore Weston Kelly, my family never finishes a game in one night, and we’re not going to continue in the morning. I know many other families start arguing before it can end, and I know that I definitely don’t start crying midway through. People always team up against one person just to get them out, and that ruins the whole ‘monopoly’ part of Monopoly.
Monopoly also wrongfully capitalizes on peoples’ interests, creating themed versions no one wants. Often double the price, these editions are oddly specific and give no extra elements to the game. Who wants Costco Monopoly? Wrestlemania? I refuse to believe people actually pay an extra $23 to buy The Witcher edition Monopoly. It’s absurd.
Finally, Monopoly leads to severe anger and violence. There have been countless reports of deaths and injuries as an effect of the game, from stabbings to shootings. Just searching “monopoly-related deaths” comes up with too many instances of harm for a board game. One article dating from just last year reports a young man who tragically died of gunshot wounds after trying to borrow money from another player during Monopoly (latimes). Boardwalk and Park Place, highly coveted dark-blue properties, spark many many arguments and fights. For example, sophomore Gavin Bowyer states he especially hates “when [his] sister takes Boardwalk, and [he’s] trying to get a monopoly.”
Ultimately, Monopoly is a terrible game for numerous reasons. I could go on and on, but for the sake of this article, I’ll keep it short: it’s falsely marketed, it takes forever to play, capitalizes on interests, and can even lead to death. Monopoly does not deserve the hype, and should not be considered a “classic” game. Monopoly sucks.