Cooking is a beautiful gift, for those who can at least. Cooking provides individuals with the ability to not only feed themselves but also feed others that they care about. Cooking proves itself a love language all on its own, which means that mastering this skill is vital so you and your loved ones can be fed. Today, I will be sharing the six steps to craft the perfect mess, wait, I mean meal.
Step 1: Prepare all your ingredients
The most crucial step is to prepare all the ingredients for your meal. That means chopping and cutting all ingredients as well as prepping all the spices, equipment, and anything else that you might need. By preparing everything you need, not only are you saving time but you are also ensuring that your meal will turn out perfect!
Step 2: Call your best friend who is an amazing cook for emotional support
If you are like me, I am not a great cook, therefore, if you have someone in your life who is a great cook then do not hesitate to call them for emotional support as you embark on this magical journey. I like to call my best friend, Anna Genna because they are an amazing cook and a wonderful companion (Anna if you are reading this please bake me garlic knots, I am starving because I have not eaten in days). They provide me with criticism and tips so that my meal will turn out edible-ish.
Step 3: Start cooking
Okay, now is your time to shine! Start cooking! Pull up that recipe (never try to write your own) and follow the steps to the tee. If it says to add oil then the garlic, do not add the garlic then the oil, follow all the steps, and do not try to experiment on your own with ingredient combinations. I can guarantee that if you are food deaf (it is like tone deaf but with food) like me,then this will not go well. Take a deep breath, you got this!
Step 4: Set off the fire alarm, freak your dogs out, and have a panic attack all while your best friend laughs at you
Are you really cooking if you do not set off the fire alarm at least once and make your anxious dog start violently shaking?? This is a pivotal point in your cooking journey, at least once you should set off the fire alarm in your house. Smoke should flood your eyes as you run to the alarm in the kitchen to turn it off. You should be panicking, preferably on the verge of tears while your best friend yells at you all while howling with wild laughter. Bonus points if going to turn the alarm off burns or messes up your food!
Step 5: Finish your meal (it is half burnt) and vow to never cook again
After the chaos calms down, you will find yourself looking at your food. It is half burnt and does not look appetizing. You, yourself, should have lost your appetite and while you look at your meal you should vow to yourself to never cook again! And that, ladies and gentlemen is how you craft the perfect mess, wait, I mean meal!