Fifteen

By Madeline Crowley

I sit in front of the mirror crying

Being a teenager sucks

My makeup smudged and hair a mess

I touch my cheek

I’m eating too much, getting chubby

He doesn’t like me back

My phone has no new messages

I have 10 missing assignments

But then it hits me

I will never live this moment again

Never be this young

Soon i’ll be old

The worries and thoughts will fade to new ones

I won’t be a teenage girl anymore

Doing silly little teenage things

Not a love drunk highschooler

Sitting in my room at my parents house

With the pink walls and a bunk bed

Living with my siblings anymore

I won’t spend thirty minutes perfecting my outfit 

Hours talking over the phone 

Laying on my stomach, kicking my feet

The cotton candy perfume will run out

I won’t care if the new polish on my nails is chipped

And scribble silly little things on paper during school

I’ll never take the long way to math class just to walk by him again

My diary will stop hearing all the drama

Bike riding in the summer won’t be the best form of transportation

As time passes,

Will I still sing my heart out to Taylor Swift songs?

Stay in touch with all of them?

Am I gonna spend friday nights at football games,

Eat In-N-Out after,

And come home to lay on my bed and dream of what the weekend holds?

Will we still use code names so we can talk about all the people we hate together?

Am I going to laugh so hard I’ll pee over silly little Tik Toks?

Stick our heads out the windows on the drive to the beach,

Hair blowing in the wind of youth?

But,

What happens when this freeness departs?

When that childish light dissolves into maturity?

What will we do when the day comes that we move out?

No longer covered by the safe blankets of our parents,

Real world problems,

I have to go grocery shopping.

The original thoughts seem small now

My cheeks are dry again as I stare into the mirror

I wanna stay fifteen forever.