Would I Survive?

By Kendall Albrecht

As spooky season approaches, enthusiastic Halloween fans decorate houses, plan costumes, eat candy corn, and most importantly, start watching scary movies. With hundreds to choose from in the horror/thriller genre, a creepy film can always get your adrenaline pumping. While hiding under the covers, many find themselves shaking their heads at the protagonist’s terrible judgment, positive they would easily escape if they were the victim. That being said, here is a list of popular horror movies, ranked by how likely I would be to survive.

  • Scream: 6/10 survival possibility

A classic slasher movie, Scream keeps you on your toes, never sure when the mysterious masked murderer will strike again. Although proficient with their knife, at the end of the day the killer is just an average person with no special abilities, who often trips over themself and stumbles around, giving victims time to create a defense. Should the struggle between the antagonists and I be based purely on strength, they would surely overpower me. Yet my intelligence and common sense would aid me greatly, making us about even, resulting in a middle-range score of 6/10. 

  • A Quiet Place: 1/10 survival possibility 

The task seems simple, just don’t make any noise. Even the slightest rustle summons the monstrous aliens infesting Earth. However much I would like to believe I could just stay silent, I do not think it is possible. Communicating with others (if there are any left) would be difficult enough without speaking. But the chances of stepping on a stick, rustling some leaves, a door shutting, or tripping over something seems too great to even entertain the possibility of complete quiet. No matter how careful, I would never be able to avoid attack as efficiently as the protagonists in A Quiet Place, and that is without young children to care for and an expecting mother! Props to the Abbot family for surviving, but I would only stand a 10% chance. 

  • The Ring: 8/10 survival possibility

The concept of The Ring—if you watch a certain video, you die in 24 hours—is no doubt spooky. However, I doubt I would fall victim to this trap. Although enticing, simply not watching the tape of creepy, black and white clips would keep me alive without facing a single obstacle. In the case I was unaware of the consequences of viewing the film, I still doubt I would watch it. What about a set of random clips is so intriguing? In the end, not falling victim to The Ring would not be too challenging.