By Eric Vallen
Why in god’s name does each UC need seventy of my hard-earned Wingstop dollars just for one of their employees to add my name to the rejection list? Why do they need any of our minimum wage dollars? You’re telling me that institutions with tens of millions of dollars need to squeeze my broke behind? They don’t. But they sure do.
Don’t let them fool you: UCs are, of course, prestigious institutions and top of the line academic institutions. But, don’t let the prestige or prospect of potential academic excellence lead you down the wrong path. I will unapologetically say that I played into their trap. Little trauma dump, I have a 4.0 weighted GPA, did a grand total of six extracurricular activities, and somehow managed to never actually take the SAT. Guess who applied to UCLA, UCSB, and Berkeley?
That’s two hundred and ten dollars down the drain. For a pipe dream. A peephole dream. Pinhole. Dream. Do not fall into the trap of the pinhole dream. The internet may tell you there’s a two percent chance of acceptance for whatever high-end school you’re fawning over, but don’t fall for it. If you have serious, justified doubt about being accepted to a college, don’t apply. American universities, especially some of the ones present in California, are some of the best universities in the world. For the adequately qualified, that seventy-dollar fee holds no weight. A worthy investment if you will. However, to the average joe, spending 12.35 hours of your time on a couple horribly automated rejection ‘letter’ emails is a bit of a bitter and sobering experience, at least initially.
Sober yourself before you spend your money. At least before rejection day. Heavily research acceptance rates for applicants with your statistics and background at every school you’re thinking of applying to. Never look deeply into a college’s campus, housing situation, or the amenities of the city it’s in before you do your research. UCSB might be on the beach, but will it accept your 3.5 GPA accompanied by a crippling Tik Tok addiction just because you manifested that they will? Don’t fool yourself into fantasizing as if you’ve already gotten in, and when that rejection letter comes, fun times are over. Save your money now, so you can save your mind later.