By Eric Vallen
In the period between 1999 and 2008, the world saw the single greatest television show to ever air. Not Breaking Bad, not Game of Thrones, not The Walking Dead, not Star Trek, but the children’s show Spongebob Squarepants. On the day it was released in 1999, the world stood still; July 17th should be a worldwide holiday, and that is an undeniable fact. Spongebob had something for everyone. If you were a kid at the time, Spongebob and Patrick’s childish tendencies would have you rolling. If you were a teenager, Plankton’s cynicism would provide you ample laughing opportunities. If you were an adult, Mr Krabs, King Neptune, and Pearl are your people. Furthermore, with this wide range of characters you have insane situations within each episode. Each episode would have playful scenes with Spongebob and Patrick, and then suddenly they would be talking about the meaning of life, with a close shot of Spongebob’s vacant eyes. Then back to normal. Pure, amazing television.
With the first six seasons, you could not go wrong. It was like a more home-safe version of Robot Chicken, but with more intricately formed jokes. Better yet, in the middle the studio gave us one of the greatest blockbuster movies of the 2000s. Aptly named The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, it delivered a powerful coming of age story for the show’s beloved duo. To this day, “Goofy Goober Rock” is my favorite song. You could play it during the most pressing moment of my life, and I’d still headbang to that thing. Just look at this discography: “Sweet Victory,” “Campfire Song Song,” “Ripped Pants,” “F.U.N Song,” “The Best Day Ever,” “My Tighty Whiteys,” “Where’s Gary?,” “Now That We’re Men,” “This Grill is Not a Home,” “Sweater Song,” “Jellyfish Jam,” “The Bubble Song,” and “A Day Like This.” That alone is an amazing playlist. You get all the emotions. Every kind of beat. The best lyrics. In fact, I would highly recommend such a playlist. In short, Spongebob is unironically a masterpiece. To me, Spongebob’s flexibility makes it timeless. No matter what mood you’re in, where you are, how old you are, Spongebob will entertain you. At least the seasons from the early 2000s. Past that, it lost its depth, its life.