Pretty Girls Don’t Need A Pretty Penny

By Aarushi Wadwha

Dear women of the workforce, 

Cheer up – I know we like to be dramatic, but our situation really isn’t that bad. 

You know how the old saying goes “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” It is time to stop going to our bosses to argue for more money. We need to maintain our reputation of being docile, doltish, and delightful. Fighting for what we deserve is so 1920s and I know they say fashion repeats itself every 20 years but trust me, feminism is really out of style. Besides, if you earn 77 cents for every dollar that a man makes, congratulations! You are at the top of your field… and probably an Asian or Caucasian woman. The rest of the women are lucky to be making even a fraction of that, so remember to count your blessings and don’t be greedy. Sure, 33 cents seems like a sizeable chunk in the context of a dollar but look at the bigger picture. 33 cents is less than the amount you splurged when you bought the pretty pink razor at Target the other day over the bleak blue one. So, is the stress about our paychecks and the pay gap even worth the wrinkles and fine lines?

We can’t even blame the corporations. After all, they are looking out for themselves, just as we would. It is not their fault they are in a real pinch for money and can’t pay all their employees the same amount.  Let’s be honest, we all collect coupons for our shopping sprees and I know not all of us like to admit it, but who doesn’t sneak a peek at the sale rack in the mall? The situation here is no different: companies need loyal employees like us that will produce more bang for their buck. 

We should look on the bright side! We have so much to be thankful for: free sanitary items in the office bathrooms with large mirrors, spending our days outside of the kitchen, and getting some money for shopping! Let’s not forget the whole 12 weeks of maternity leave that we get! That’s 12 times the standard amount of time men have for paternity leave in the United States – but we never hear about the men complaining about that, do we?

Anyways, continue being the absolute #girlboss that you are… but don’t be too assertive, you might be seen as “bossy.” Oh, and get a good night’s rest, remember we have our early morning shifts tomorrow that our male coworkers didn’t want, so it was assigned to us. I’m sure our bosses are thankful for our obedience and flexibility!