New Hampshire!

By Eric Vallen

The land of my people. The new, found, land. Home of Newfound lake. New Hampshire is widely known as one of the densest population centers on the globe, with an astronomical 147 persons per square mile. Unsurprisingly, New Hampshire offers the most populated city in the world, Manchester, at a total population of 112,000 people. Furthermore, New Hampshire is home to over 800 lakes, including the most popular lake of the world, Newfound Lake. Also, it has several very uniquely named cities, most notably Concord, Manchester, and Portsmouth!

No matter how much I embellish, there’s no denying New Hampshire’s boringness. San Jose has the same population as the entire state of New Hampshire. In typical northeast fashion, New Hampshire is home to a population so white it might as well be a piece of binder paper. Even worse, its a land of old people. More than 60 percent of New Hampshirian residents are over 44 years old. And white. Simply preposterous.

In all honesty, New Hampshire was probably a more significant tourist attraction in 1776 than it is now. Most lakes have been almost completely bought out by old people, and are virtually impossible to find lodging near. Unless you like Motels and backroad Inns, you’ll be subject to 20 minute drives on ancient roads just to get to some murky waters. However, the state has taken great advantage of the .3 miles of coastline it does have, and created “stellar” beaches, per longtime New Hampshire resident Alessandra Kelly. Besides water attractions, New Hampshire actually does have some remarkable natural features. With extremely dense forests and a surprisingly hilly landscape, the state offers vast multitudes of interesting hikes, especially during summer months when skies are almost always clear. 

When the weather turns cold, reasons to go to New Hampshire turn from a few to zero. Of course, as in any place that gets a millimeter of snow a year, there are a few ski resorts, but I absolutely would not recommend them. Prime conditions in New Hampshire are hellish conditions anywhere near california. Mammoth in October would be heaven for an avid New Hampshire skier.  From September to March, New Hampshire is a no-anything zone. 

However, although all of the popular attractions that younger people would go to aren’t exactly the greatest in New Hampshire, it does have some redeeming qualities. It has a very quaint, farmland kind of vibe, but without the horrid weather of the midwest. Although I previously put down the old age of New Hampshire as a whole, it makes it a very quiet, peaceful place. It’s full of little nook and cranny establishments that are scores, even hundreds of years old, and has subtle, thin forests that are perfect for short hikes & little picnics. Essentially, 40 weeks out of the year, New Hampshire is a hell-zone, but for those short summer months, it’s a truly quant, homely place.