By Avalon Kelly & Olivia Pocat
93% on Rotten Tomatoes, the third highest-grossing Marvel film, starring Tom Holland and Zendaya—who didn’t love Spiderman: No Way Home? Me. I didn’t love Spiderman: No Way Home. As adoring fans watched the film, captivated by Peter Parker’s mission to get his friends into college, my friends and I laughed. To begin, what is this plot? An immature, lovestruck, self-centered teenage boy doesn’t get into MIT, so he decides to ask the multiverse’s most powerful sorcerer to make the world forget his secret identity: Spiderman. Get over yourself, kid! Apply again next year! Sorry you didn’t get into your dream college, but no need to cast spells on everyone! Spiderman’s plot never even developed: he ruined his own life because he threw a fit in response to not getting into college. Formerly selfless, calculating, and empathic, Peter Parker has now been reduced to an emotionally unstable wreck. All hopes for reason seem lost until Andrew Garfield enters the scene, sporting his classic shy smile and innovative web shooters. The previously appraised superhero makes a comeback and ultimately saves the movie from the wreck it’s becoming. Ultimately, we should start a petition to fire Tom Holland and reimplement Andrew Garfield as the modern Spiderman. Thank you for your time.