By Kalie Hand
I often imagine my dream dinner: sitting at a table in the corner of a crowded In-N-Out, with a cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake. Next to me sits Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter Noah Kahan; across from me sits former First Lady Michelle Obama, and next to her sits Tony Award-winning performer Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Noah Kahan would add a perfect touch of self-deprecation and goofiness to the table. He would most definitely be heard casually trauma-dumping on the other dinner guests. With his entertaining sense of humor, there would never be a dull moment. However, one problem might arise when trying to order, as a born-and-raised New Englander, I doubt Kahan has much experience ordering at an In-N-Out and might have some trouble. Regardless, I would ask Kahan a few questions relating to why he makes music, but more specifically, I would also ask him what made him decide to make music that brings so much doom and despair into the world, and whether he enjoys seeing the anguish he inflicts on anyone who hears it.
Next, I think Michelle Obama would make a perfect addition to this already spectacular dinner. She would most definitely attempt to unpack some of Kahan’s emotional baggage and trauma (with little success). Obama would also shift the light-hearted small talk into deep and meaningful conversations about morality, politics, and more. However, just because Obama made this light-hearted dinner into a presidential debate doesn’t mean she can’t still have some fun. Right after discussing the gender pay gap, she would immediately start joking about her husband’s—former US President Barack Obama’s—balding head and entertaining personality. I would ask Obama an array of questions about her time as a First Lady. I would ask her what made her so passionate about world issues. Lastly, I would ask her to give me her complete and unfiltered thoughts about the state of the current US government.
Last but not least, Lin-Manuel Miranda would spend the whole time aggressively attempting not to address his many awards and worldwide successes. He would sheepishly ignore any attempt at praise from fellow East Coaster Noah Kahan. Luckily, Obama and Miranda have already met on numerous occasions, so there would be no awkwardness between the two. Miranda would certainly break out into song one or two times throughout the dinner—much to Obama’s dismay. Finally, I would ask Miranda why he chose to pursue theatre and what encourages him to write so much music. I would also ask him the most important question: did Jonathan Groff spit during his Hamilton audition, or was that a show-exclusive event?
Clearly, all of these individuals have differences, but they all seem to be very down-to-earth, and I know they would ravenously destroy a double-double with some animal-style fries.