Have you ever yearned to go back to the 1600s and see what your great, great, grandparents 5 times removed are doing on a Tuesday afternoon? Or have you ever wished you could change the outcome of your future? Well, if you have, you’re in the right place. I have discovered the science behind time travel, so you can travel back to the 1600s or alter your future. In this article, I will give you a step-by-step guide on how to utilize this advanced scientific technology.
Believe it or not, this complicated process begins with a banana. To initiate, you are required to eat one banana in order to obtain potassium in your body. Although be careful, you can not eat more than one banana because consuming more than one might trap you on your time-traveling journey. Once you have eaten your banana, you must put on a tutu and fairy wings. I know this sounds absurd, but the tutu and fairy wings carry you through the time portal—this is a crucial step in the process. Then, once you have completed those two steps, you need to find the nearest portal to you. These portals are located in the back of McDonald’s, next to the ice cream machines that probably don’t work—Just ask an employee to take you to it. Once you have found an accessible portal, you must click the button for the time period you would like to visit. When your desired button is selected, spin 10 times and sing your favorite Taylor Swift song. Personally, I think “Shake it off” speeds up the portal process. Then all you have to do is jump through the portal, and you will be on your way. The portal is a pink and purple swirl that you are sure not to miss. As you have jumped through the portal, you might feel like you are going to pass out, but don’t worry, that means it’s working. Before you know it you will be in the time period you desire, and you will be able to alter your future.
It is as simple as that. This new technological advancement is sure to change lives with its speedy time travel and easy accessibility. If you have any questions, you can also contact your nearest Mcdonalds and they will be happy to address any questions or concerns you may have. Feel free to try this new invention out for yourself.