By Rosie Lu
For those unfamiliar with the generally positively connotated buzzword—or should I say, buzzphrase—“girl’s girl,” she’s the one who upholds the girl code, who lifts up other women, who keeps an eye out for lurking male threats.
The concept of a girl’s girl is quite beautiful—those bonds of solidarity and sisterhood allow women to fight long-standing prejudices and oppression from society. All women feel an irreplaceable sense of comfort knowing that someone will always let you know when you have a wardrobe malfunction, that someone will defend you when you’re not there to do it yourself, that someone will always celebrate your successes with you. With dating and romance, you never have to fear a girl’s girl sweeping a prospective partner away, nor will she express anything but hatred for your ex-partners. There’s even a universal economy for girls’ girls—having each others’ backs with hygiene items, fixing another’s makeup, and never gatekeeping outfit details.
But of course, the good old internet has to ruin it all by categorizing everything, whether it be fashion aesthetics or types of a literal gender. It’s completely absurd to pitch those of an already oppressed societal class against each other, the girls’ girl now the archnemesis of the “pick me” girl. The “pick me” is a whole other problematic concept that essentially labels women with masculine behavior as seeking male attention. Stereotypically, she hates makeup, hangs out exclusively with boys because she “can’t stand the drama,” and puts down other girls for doing girly things. Because being a pick me is so horrible now, it’s even more important now to do girl’s girl things.
In this new role, the girl’s girl accommodates, gives, and never competes—and it’s for women, an act of femininity, so that makes it okay now. For women to fear standing up for themselves, to never say no to anyone. But what happened to being just you? Having your own opinions and your own set of morals? What does a girl do when another woman abuses her boyfriend—help her with it?
That’s why women shouldn’t label themselves as girls’ girls. Rather, we should let our actions speak for themselves, and live for our own sakes. Dispense kindness where it is due and celebrate yourself when you deserve it. Just because you don’t fit into society’s mold of an ideal woman, whether that’s the homemaking role from the previous century or the subdued pushover of the modern era, doesn’t mean you can’t be a kind, independent woman.