Welcome to the second installment of Wisdom of the Week, where I (a slightly staunch believer that astrology is a pseudoscience) will dole out my advice in the form of very accurate, 100% believable horoscopes. Again, this is just a joke, please don’t take it too seriously! Unless…
Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn):
As of right now, I’m most definitely getting some disorganized vibes from you, which is very unusual…please, for all that is pure and wonderful, update that Notion/planner/calendar of yours so you can stop doomscrolling. Just remember that you made it through the first semester, so you can make it through the second!
Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces):
Per the tea leaves in the cup in front of me, it seems like the universe is telling you to be wary of an evil, malicious spirit that is quite set on following you. In order to purge it from your being, go hug your best friend and take your dog on a walk. Also, get rid of those leftovers in the fridge from New Years please.
Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius):
It seems to me like you have been spending too much time worrying over others and not enough time taking care of yourself. A well-deserved nap is in the cards for you, maybe even two if you’re lucky! And don’t forget: coffee is not breakfast, please eat something with nutritional value.
Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius):
Woah, woah, woah! Slow down there, cowboy! Don’t rush through life, it might make you forget that you left your wireless earbuds in the front pocket of your jeans. Remember to take them out before tossing them in the washing machine.