By Sophia Doan and Sadie York
Overall, we have a very close relationship where we can talk about our beliefs and views on any topic: but usually those views don’t align. One of the best things about our friendship is that we accept and listen to each other’s opinions, even if we disagree. Below we responded to a few prompts that we usually don’t align on.
How do you want to live out your young adult years/post college?
Sophia: One of my biggest life goals is to get married and start a family. Ideally, out of college I would want to meet my husband and get married. Prioritizing being a young mother is so important to me, and having kids is something I’ve wanted to do my whole life. Although some people would argue that starting a family early prevents you from finding yourself or chasing life goals, I believe that you can find yourself and accomplish so much WITH a family. I don’t want to “live my life” and then settle down and have a family, I want to live my life with my family. I want the best moments of my life to be with my family and children.
Sadie: I believe your post-college years are about finding yourself, and creating a deep understanding of your identity. At this point in life, I’ll likely be focused on getting a job, traveling, going out, etc. generally just living my life to the fullest, before settling down and having a family. Once you create a family, your life will forever be changed, and so I think it’s crucial for there to be a time of your life between school and family to adjust. In my opinion, this time period is crucial, and if I were to go straight into having a family in my 20s, I’d be dissatisfied with the life I’ve lived. Unless you are 100% content with your life up until that point, creating a family wouldn’t be a good idea because you can’t go back after that decision. Mother/fatherhood is a stage in life where you must take care of not only yourself, but your children. This is a huge responsibility, and if rushed into, can lead to states of depression and discontent. Thus, I want to take a few years to live out my life, do all the things I’ve dreamed of with no strings attached, and then when I’m completely ready, introduce a new aspect of my life.
Big or small family?
Sadie: Personally, I find 2 kids the ideal amount. As someone with one sibling, it’s very important to grow up with another kid in the house. It helps in development, staying entertained, and in general growing up with an irreplaceable bond. Right now I’d be content with 2 children, that may change in the future, but in terms of financial and physical responsibilities, I certainly don’t want a huge family.
Sophia: Ideally, I would want to have 3-4 kids. Being raised with siblings caused me to value close relationships with family members. I think having a big, close family can teach kids how to respect and treat others. However, more than 4 sounds like more times then I would want to be pregnant…
Date to marry?
Sophia: I believe that everyone should date to marry to some extent. Obviously I don’t think every person will marry the first person they date, but I think all dating should be with the intention of finding a person to spend the rest of your life with. One of my life goals is to marry a good person and start a family, so I think dating without keeping that in mind would be a waste of time. Even if the person you date doesn’t end up being the person you marry, intentional conversations and ideals you would look for in a marriage should be the focus.
Sadie: If entering a relationship, I don’t think you should necessarily have the intent to marry that person. Of course, going into a relationship you should genuinely care for the other person, and be able to visualize a future with them, but marriage isn’t always realistic. I think it’s okay to want a relationship fully knowing you won’t marry them, because you can learn so much about yourself through relationships, and the hardships of break-ups are important to that development. Ultimately, through past relationships people are able to understand more about how they act in one, which leads to more security in marriages once at that stage in life.
Coffee: Yes or no??
Sadie: I have nothing against coffee, I just don’t like the taste of it. When in need of caffeine, or just a delectable drink, I tend to opt for chai. I LOVE chai lattes, and the sweeter taste bodes better with me over the bitter aftertaste of coffee. I’m sure I’d be okay with coffee with lots of inclusions, or in the form of a frappe, etc. but I simply don’t drink it enough to form a liking for the popular beverage.
Sophia: Personally, I am a coffee addict. I cannot wake up in the morning without filling my to-go cup to the brim with my piping hot pour over. I became coffee addicted last summer, and since then, a day is not a good day without a cup of coffee. The taste is so perfect and makes me the happiest version of myself. The best part of coffee is not even the caffeine, just the delectable taste. After a long day, or while watching a movie, I love sipping on a cup of decaf coffee just as much as a caffeinated one. Coffee gets me through hard days at school, long work shifts, and anything hardship that comes my way. In the last few months, I have developed a distaste towards anything added to coffee. The best way to drink it is in its purest form: black.
Would you marry someone with different religious beliefs?
Sophia: My religious beliefs are one of the most important things about me. I don’t have anything wrong with people who believe differently, however, because my beliefs are such a big part of me, I wouldn’t want to share my life with someone who didn’t share the same beliefs. I really want to raise my children with my religious beliefs, and if I didn’t share those with my partner, that would cause conflict.
Sadie: I think I’d totally be able to marry someone with different religious beliefs. I personally don’t possess super strong religious beliefs, and if there can be a mutual respect/understanding of beliefs within a marriage, then there’s no problem. Even if people believe in different things, there shouldn’t be a strain on their love for one another. If that’s the case, then maybe the relationship isn’t as strong as believed. People fall in love with others for a whole range of reasons, and if religion is super important to you, to the point where it can’t be looked past, then it’s not meant to be. In my own opinion, this is something that I could overlook, simply because I doubt it’d be a factor which would change my opinion of their character.