The Real Drivers Ed

By Adam Sarsfield

Welcome class to your real lesson on how to drive. On the first note, there is a clear distinction between “good” and “safe” driving. As experienced drivers know, good driving means that a driver can get you from point A to point B in less time than an average driver while using their car, which is how original motor vehicles were created to be handled. A safe driver can go from point A to point B relaxed and comfortable the entire time; there is no reason to get upset by being a minute or two later than an average driver as long as the vibes are good and everyone is relaxed.

In order to turn your calm souls into drivers who deserve to be recognized for their masterful control, I will explain to untaught drivers—who always ignore some fundamental moves—how to improve.

  1. Turning/lane switching

For the love of everything in this world, please use your turn signal when doing either of these things. The number of times that I have seen a driver brake suddenly without reason, only to see them turn onto a random street with no indication of why he is stopping. Either that or drivers take the widest, slowest turns in existence. I get it when there are uncertainties or a blind corner; please be slow and cautious because there is no way for you to know what lies in front of you, but when it is an empty street to an empty street that is clearly visible in the sunny skies of summer just make the turn at a reasonable speed. 

  1. Going slower than the speed limit on the freeway

Holy moly, the speed limit on the freeway is 65. That means you should be at least a little close to 65. In my opinion, one or two under is alright; some people don’t want to be unsafe or get a ticket, but those hooligans going 60 or less ON THE FREEWAY will always be the most unacceptable thing ever to grace the roads of California. I am begging you, just go at least 65, you won’t get a ticket for a couple of hours, you won’t spontaneously combust once you hit 66, and everything will be alright, not going dangerously under the speed limit.

  1. Braking

BANGER AFTER BANGER. Your brakes are meant to prevent an accident or to slow down AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME. This means that when you are half a mile away from your turn, you do not start braking to make a turn at a single mile per hour. To turn, you should begin breaking 100 feet before you change streets. Braking early not only causes a significant caution that every single other driver has to avoid. 

Although there are countless other tips and tricks that should be laid out to your untaught minds. The fact of the matter is that there is no way to put out every single trick you will need when driving on roads all throughout your life. The absolute best way to learn anything is to practice, and this is extremely important when learning how to drive. Stay safe, drive well, and keep your wheels on the ground!

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