Giovanni Arteaga wakes up to birds chirping and the warm sun shining down on his face through his window. He rolls out of his cloud-like bed, after procrastinating getting up for 20 minutes, and goes to get ready for school. After he eats breakfast, he slides his rainbow, RuPaul’s Drag Race themed Crocs on, and violently suppresses the urge to make up an excuse not to go to school. Gio knows that today, sophomores are scheduling for next year, and he also knows that Laura Lipcsei is more than likely to force him to take the same classes as her, including multiple AP’s, which makes skipping school all the more tempting. Resigning himself to suffering, Gio leaves his house and heads to his mom’s car. Right as Gio opens the door to the car, Laura suddenly appears in the passenger seat, provoking a girly, high-pitched scream from Gio, who slams the car door shut. He cautiously opens the door again, and, forcing a smile onto his face, asks “What are you doing here, and how did you get here Laura?” Laura smiles up at him from the passenger seat, and says, with laughter in her voice, “Your mom picked me up earlier, Gio”, and then a few seconds later: “You’re kind of slow sometimes.” Gio sputters, and then looks at his mom for help, who ignores his look and simply says “Are you gonna get in the car Gio? We might be late if you don’t.” Gio gets in the car. As they drive to school, Gio suddenly realizes that his mother never left the house that day, meaning there was no possible time for her to pick up Laura. He breaks into a cold sweat, contemplating how this is possible, when suddenly he realizes that Laura and his mom started talking about scheduling. Gio’s face breaks out in horror, and he realizes that if Laura gets his mom on her side, he will be forced to take those classes. But it is too late, and as they stop at a red light, his mom turns her head back, smiles at him, and says “I’m so excited for you to take AP language, Calculus AB, AP Psychology, and AP Physics, next year!” Gio’s eyes tear up, and he barely manages to hold himself back from crying. Luckily, Gio thinks, he won’t have to take APUSH next year, at least. However, just as he thinks this, his mom suddenly exclaims “oh right, how could I forget, you’re taking AP US History too!” Once Gio hears this, tears start sliding down his face, and as he looks back up, he sees Laura smiling evilly at him, at this moment, he believes that Laura truly is the devil. All of a sudden, a gigantic Julia Daniels, the height of a traffic light, and the width of Westmont high school, appears and lunges for his car. As Mrs. Daniels is about to land on top of the car, Gio thinks that at least he won’t have to take those AP’s next year. When she finally lands, he experiences the agonizing pain of becoming crushed by someone vertically challenged. As his vision goes dark, Gio thinks that this must be how those 1000 Pound Sisters felt, and thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to suffer through AP classes with Laura next year. Gio gasps and wakes up to bright sunlight shining down from his window, and the mouth-watering smell of pancakes drifting from his kitchen. “Thank god, it was all just a dream”, Gio whispers under his breath. He smiles, cries a few tears of joy, and relaxes back in his bed, deciding that after that traumatizing experience, he won’t go to school today. Just as he is about to fall back asleep, the house falls into an eerie silence, and his door slams open, revealing Laura, with a smile on her face and a twisted look in her eyes, who whispers “You didn’t think you could escape that easily, did you…?”
