By Wyatt Spears
The Subway Footlong Cookie, boasting a length of twelve inches, is a greasy, gooey, and unfortunately, a flavorless mess that carries enough calories to feed a kindergarten class—totaling 1440 calories each. It is becoming more and more apparent that Kanye was right; they are making the Twix bigger, or in this case, cookies bigger to make us fat.
This cookie lacks any noteworthy or outstanding characteristics. It simply exists as a mediocre chocolate chip cookie, elongated. The extended length proves to be one of the main drawbacks of this twelve-inch abomination. This becomes immediately apparent as you attempt to remove the cookie from the tray, only to realize that it’s too floppy to survive outside of its cardboard home. The process of eating it involves picking up bits of the cookie as it falls apart, all the while getting grease and chocolate on your fingers. There is a reason cookies are the circular shape we are familiar with– so you can eat them.
The Footlong Cookie tastes predictably like a chocolate cookie. It may be gimmicky and silly, but overall, it is a decent cookie. The sweetness levels could be much higher and there is a lack of any butter flavor that is key to any great chocolate chip cookie. The chocolate is mid but it’s chocolate, so there is very little to complain about. The consistency of this cookie is closer to that of a cookie cake and is best to approach the consumption of it as so.
The glitz of the cookie soon disappears after it cools down, leaving you to wonder “Was this a good use of my five dollars?” The answer: No, it was not. This cookie is a solution to a problem that never existed. Subway already offers regular cookies, and for a fraction of the price, you could buy two and actually enjoy them.