24 Ways the World Will End

By Diego Mantelli

With 2023 coming to a close, I decided to look forward to the new year and guess how it will end. So here’s my 24 predictions on how 2024 will end, starting with my most realistic, and ending with my most… bodacious.

1. The year progresses with no major new wars, protests, or news. 2024 ends the same way 2023 ends.
2. Biden wins the election, republicans get mad and declare his victory false, 2024 ends with a lot of domestic turmoil.
3. Trump wins the election and makes a lot of people worried for America’s future.
4. Biden wins the election, but dies before electoral votes are counted, plunging the country into chaos.
5. A natural disaster destroys France, and the U.S. sends support.
6. The U.S. goes bankrupt, and Mexico buys us.
7. Australia floats away.
8. Canada’s maple syrup reserves run out, and the country plunges into intense rioting, devastating the global maple syrup supply chain.
9. Greenland declares independence and becomes a nuclear state.
10. The Great pacific garbage patch starts to grow plants, and become its own island, complete with an ecosystem and all.
11. The Sharks get relegated to the high school hockey league.
12. George R.R. Martin finally releases Winds of Winter and the world stops spinning.
13. France just disappears, and no one notices.
14. Apple buys Samsung, and ends the Samsung Apple debate once and for all.
15. Space X sends a rocket to mars, and finds alien fish that someone releases on earth, but it turns out the fish destroy the environment and are the reason Mars looks like Mars.
16. Someone finds evidence of mole people.
17. Someone finds evidence of a yeti.
18. A clan of yetis take over the U.S, capitol.
19. France gets taken over by sewer rats and mimes, and makes baguettes a restricted substance.
20. The cast of Glee seizes control of Vermont and installs a religious monarchy, worshiping Sue Sylvester.
21. The Grinch steals Christmas, and Fort Knox’s gold reserves while he’s at it.
22. Tajikistan simultaneously implodes.
23. Mr. Evans approves the Oxford comma.
24. John F Kennedy lands at DFW airport and runs for president.