Men Listen Up! Women Lower Your Expectations!

By Larena Tannert

Enemies to lovers, the billionaire falls for the waitress, just friends; no matter what trope a romance movie follows, it is providing women with false expectations in their future relationships. Women expect to be swept off their feet by a tall, strong, wealthy man. In the midst of dreaming of a Prince Charming, they lose sight of their standards and fail to even look at another man as a potential suitor. That raises the question, how can men compete with the ridiculous standards women hold for them when it comes to love?

In reality, they can’t. But it doesn’t mean that they are trying either. Women may expect a lot, but men are not showing any effort. A trend I have recently noticed is when guys lead a girl on for months, and then at the last second claim “to not want anything serious.” They don’t want the responsibility of being the boyfriend, so instead, when things start to get serious, they leave the girl behind wondering what went wrong. With the popularity of hookup culture, it is extremely difficult for anyone to find a happy, healthy relationship with a committed partner. 

Women are so blinded by the idea of the “perfect romance” with their “flawless partner.” The way romance movies portray the love story is not at all realistic, they are only women’s fantasies. What we don’t understand is that these fictional men are constructed from the minds of women. Women write these scripts and build these perfect men that young girls grow up pining over. As they grow up, women want a man who will change for them and be a better person for them. Or they believe that they can make a player change his ways. Reality check: that only happens in movies. The Notebook, Ever After, Me Before You, The Hating Game, Persuasion, When Harry Met Sally, Vampire Diaries, Titanic, 10 Things I Hate About You, Sleepless In Seattle, 50 First Dates, La La Land, A Walk To Remember, The Fault In Our Stars, Five Feet Apart, Midnight Sun, Rapunzel, Twilight, Ginny & Georgia, Emily In Paris, Outer Banks, Purple Hearts, No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits, P.S. I Love You, Never Have I Ever. These movies and shows capture the essence of  what women are looking for, yet men never watch these iconic romance movies, so they don’t understand what women are yearning for. Maybe if they sat down and watched a couple of these movies/shows more women would want them. We need to normalize guys watching chick-flicks, because it teaches them how women want to be treated. It really sucks that guys feel embarrassed to watch romance movies, because they could be learning so many important lessons. In my opinion, the world would be a much better place if men watched some romance movies, but sadly, there isn’t much hope. Men may never learn how to properly treat women, and women will go on hoping for something they can’t ever have. 

A message to women: you should not lower your standards when looking for love, but do not expect some magical movie romance either. A man should treat you with respect, and be loyal and caring; he doesn’t need to drop 100k on a Birkin Bag either. Yes, the men in movies may send love letters, build houses, and risk their lives for the women they love, but that kind of movie magic does not exist in real life. Wake up, look in the mirror, and recognize, you will find happiness and love when you stop pining over men who do not exist, and start looking at what is right in front of your face. I am not encouraging lower standards, because it is good to know what you want in a man, but waiting forever for someone who will never come around is an unhealthy way to live life. You will be healthier and happier when you stop expecting your hallmark movie ending, and instead go find a man who admires you and treats you well (because yes, they do exist). He may not be your favorite movie character, but if he makes you happy then that is what truly matters!

A message to men: wake up. Please. There are some amazing women out there who you are missing out on because you are too scared to commit to a relationship. Claiming you “just want to be single” may prevent you from meeting the love of your life. Sit down in front of the T.V. and watch a couple of the options I previously mentioned. Trust me, it will change your life for the better. I guarantee that you’ll at least enjoy a couple of them, and you will definitely gain some insight on what every woman is looking for and expects from you. The little actions matter so much, but no guy will truly understand that until they watch these movies. 

Overall, to solve this issue it requires a compromise. If women stop expecting a perfect romance like in the movies, and if men start watching these romance movies and learning from their sweet messages, more happy and healthy relationships can be formed. These women writers are providing men with the secrets to what all women want. Guys, it is right in front of your face. Just turn on the T.V. and take notes. Women, just focus on finding someone who makes you happy, and I promise the right guy will come around eventually!