Table for the Goofy, Hot, and Tortured.

By Raven Carthon

Seated at my table in the fanciest restaurant in town, I am joined by the acclaimed director Taika Waititi, the odd but interesting lead singer of The 1975, Matty Healy, and the beautiful Megan Fox

With Taika’s contribution to the table, he would be the life of the party and constantly keep the night interesting. Although he is often viewed as odd, I believe he would interact with staff well and create a bond with them; prompting them not to spit in our food. With his work on one of my favorite films, What We Do in the Shadows, I would be able to talk endlessly about his creative shot choices and perfect comedic timing throughout the film’s entirety. Not to mention, Taika is extremely handsome and charismatic so I would never be disengaged from whatever conversation we have. 

Additionally, Matty Healy’s addition to dinner conversation would be strictly out-of-pocket comments and interesting outlook on life. With his songs detailing things from the challenges of love, to the flaws of society, Matty Healy truly has a lot to say. Combined with Taika Waititi’s comedy and Matty’s perplexing outlook on life we could keep the conversation going for the whole night. Similar to Taika, Matty is a very handsome individual which would make multitasking a conversation very difficult as I would be focused on staring into his eyes.

Lastly, the icon Megan Fox would strictly be there for me to fangirl over. Specifically, I would ask her about every film she has been in and how they affected her career. One of my favorite cult classics, Jennifers Body, featuring Megan as the lead, would be the main conversation topic.  I would talk about the movie’s effect on my life and my LGBTQ awakening. Megan would probably be thrown off and call MGK to come protect her, but I would be okay with that if it meant that she knew how much I love her! 

Although this table for four is an interesting combination, it would be amazing to experience such pure stardom in one room.