Back to School Dad Jokes

By Alex Gryciuk 

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says “spit out your gum” while the train says “chew, chew, chew!”

Why do math books always look so sad?

They are filled with problems. 

Which class was the caterpillar most excited to take?


How do you get straight A’s?

By using a ruler.

Why was the music teacher so good at baseball?

She had perfect pitch.

How do bees get to school?

The school buzz!

Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?

It is not right.

Why doesn’t the sun go to college?

It already has a million degrees.

Why did the students study on the plane?

They wanted higher grades.

Why did the freshman eat his homework?

The teacher said it was a piece of cake.

What’s a bus you can never enter?

The syllabus!

Why are there no giraffes in elementary school?

They are all in high school.

What room can a student never enter?

The mushroom.

What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?

Blood tests.