By Lindsay Der
As someone who strictly wears flare leggings and hoodies, I am clearly not highly qualified to give my judgements on million-dollar, hand-curated designer outfits worn at the Oscars. However, I have opinions and a voice that refuses to be silenced! Therefore, I present my pure, unadulterated thoughts on the 2022 Oscars fashion.
Disclaimer: These opinions are based solely on the appearance of the outfit and not at all on the wearer of said outfit. In fact, I don’t even know who most of these people are!
- Laverne Cox: I love the velvet gown! It’s giving sharp hips and asymmetrical neckline. And even though the thing on the back kind of looks like a garbage bag cape, I kind of like that too!
- Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs: Waiter.
- Daniel Dae Kim: Waiter.
- Sebastián Yatra: Pink waiter! I kind of dig it.
- Demi Singleton: Beautiful, showstopping, gorgeous! If you can’t tell, I like this dress a lot!
- Simu Liu: This is men’s red carpet fashion done right! Nice additions with the gold accent. The silk stripe down the side of the leg kind of looks like those soccer shorts that middle schoolers wear though.
- Amy Schumer: This is not a gift I’d like to see under my Christmas tree! The bow is extremely gaudy especially when paired with the otherwise drab dress.
- Serena Williams: The color is gorgeous and the gloves tie in the black from the flowers and shoes perfectly! #pleatmoment
- Cybill Shepherd: As I scrolled to reveal the entire image, I wondered what her cheeky little smile was all about. Finally, I saw… the shoes. Normally I hate inappropriately worn tennis shoes, but she’s so proudly displaying them, it makes the blow a little less harsh.
- Uma Thurman: Waitress.
- Molly Sims: She’s a breathtaking rose! I love this dress so much, I murmured, “oh my god…” to myself when I saw it for the first time.
- Megan Thee Stallion: Ms. Stallion looks like water that I would like to swim in, wow! #slayallday
- Zoë Kravitz: Now this is a gift I would like to see under my Christmas tree! Keeping it classy.