By Amelia Lipcsei
Plants anger me. Not in the sense that I don’t like plants; I love plants. I love the environmental benefits of them. I love the scents that they bring and the colors they provide. In fact, I like almost all things about plants. I do not enjoy, however, that every single plant I buy dies. Flowers, mosses, herbs, succulents: they all wither within a month. I started off by trying to keep a pot of carnations alive in my room. Within two days, I discovered that flowers are much harder to take care of than I had originally anticipated. Oh well, I’ll just try a different plant, right? I was wrong. I stepped down plant levels and attempted to take care of a small tree. I watered it weekly, I gave it sunlight, and I made sure to add fertilizer. Still, lo and behold, two weeks later the tree was a sad shriveled up mess. By then, I was slowly losing it. Then, a brilliant idea struck me: I’ll buy succulents. The easiest plant to take care of, succulents seemed like a great option. So, on a Friday afternoon, I drove to the store and bought myself two succulent plants. This time, I made sure to read all of the care instructions, and I followed them diligently. Only water them when their soil is bone dry, choose a container with drainage, and give them enough sunlight: I knew all of the steps perfectly. Yet, after weeks and weeks of immaculate care, I noticed my succulent began turning brown and mushy, a sign of overwatering. I had only watered the plant once, once! How in the world could it possibly be overwatered? That was six months ago. Now, after too many failed attempts at keeping anything alive, I’ve resorted to fake plants. So, sue me.