Dinner For Four

By Larena Tannert

It’s a warm summer night in Los Angeles, as I am sitting on the open-air rooftop terrace of Harriet’s. Seated to the right of me is none other than the “friend”ly Joey Tribbiani, best known as the hilarious, chaotic, and slightly dumb character from NBC’s “Friends.” To my left sits the legend himself, Adam Sandler, famously known for his comedic movies and iconic fashion sense. Sitting directly across from me is the one and only Dwayne Johnson, aka the Rock, who is not only a well-known wrestler but also a hilarious actor and decently bad rapper. To begin the night we each order drinks, with me ordering a lemonade (because I’m 16, duh), Joey ordering a gallon of milk (if you know you know & if you don’t then go watch Friends), Sandler sticking to just water (never Gatorade), and the Rock having Teremana tequila (because he’s got to support his own brand of course). As we enjoy our drinks an argument breaks out between the Rock and Joey: who is the better singer? This was a common example of male egotism, where Dwayne held his billions of Youtube views over Joey’s “abnormally large head” (Dwayne said that not me). Joey immediately fired back by claiming that he never got bashed on Twitter for his horrible rapping skills; although Joey never tried to rap (thank god). The argument quickly escalated when Adam Sandler decided to comment on his own singing skills. All he had to say was, “How could you bimbos be arguing about this, haven’t you heard me in The Wedding Singer?” The arguing dissipated as the waitress came to take our dinner orders. I ordered my favorite dinner, pesto gnocchi. Adam Sandler ordered his own burger, “The Adam Sandler Burger,” topped with lettuce, tomato, raw onion, and mayo. The Rock ordered pancakes, sushi, a burger, and a pizza (it’s clearly his cheat day), and Joey ordered a meatball sub. While waiting for the food to arrive Adam Sandler and Joey had a great conversation about Jennifer Aniston (aka Rachel Green) and how much they loved her hair. Apparently, it smells like a flower garden, thanks to her own brand of shampoo, LolaVie, which uses natural ingredients (go check it out at lolavie.com). Anyway, the Rock felt left out because he wasn’t friends with Jen, so he quickly changed the topic by asking Joey and Adam what jobs they would pursue if they weren’t actors. Joey gave a typical answer: he would be a women’s underwear model. On the other hand, Adam Sandler would be an ex-hockey player turned golfer. Dwayne would be a video game character by the name of Dr. Bravestone, and his job would be to find the Jaguar’s Eye and save Jumanji. 

After an interesting discussion about why Joey would be a women’s underwear model, (don’t ask) the waitress brought over our dinner, which quickly silenced all conversation as we stuffed our faces with delicious food. By some miracle, the Rock finished his dinner before anyone else, went for a bite of Joey’s meatball sub, as he was still starving. This resulted in a loud “Joey doesn’t share food”, before we got shushed by other tables and received unhappy glares from couples trying to enjoy their dinner. Adam, Joey, and I finished our food soon after leading the waitress to come back with the dessert menu. Joey ordered chocolate cake, the Rock ordered cookies, brownies and 3 pints of ice cream, Adam ordered chocolate pudding, and I ordered an ice cream sundae. The rest of dinner was rather calm, with the three actors talking about their careers and the interesting people they worked with, while I enjoyed the presence of Adam Sandler, Joey Tribbiani, and Dwayne Johnson. 

And then I woke up…